


Temptations

by dindooku



Series: Temptations [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angry Din Djarin, Developing Relationship, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Dirty Talk, Dom Mando, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Good Parent Din Djarin, Graphic Violence, Grogu | Baby Yoda Needs a Hug, HOORAY, He gets what he wants, He knows what he wants, OC character deals with her problems by killing people, Protective Din Djarin, Protective Grogu | Baby Yoda, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Soz, The Mandalorian (TV) Spoilers, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Din Djarin, Violence, and they're scum anyway, as in grogu says no to being a jedi, canon divergent s2, cause its fun, dom/sub vibez, he do be forceful but blind, he do be kinda hot when he angry, keep the helmet on, long live the honda civic, love yall, plus i am a student so slow updates, plus its hot, take it off or I will, the razorcrest lives, uni do be kinda hard tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:00:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dindooku/pseuds/dindooku
Summary: 'The overzealous grin dropped from your face as soon as the cell door slid shut, the air-tight lock hissing; twisting the dagger into your hopes of escape. Normally you were confident in situations like this, too confident. But now you knew, there was no way out from this.'“An eye for an eye, Mando” came from a new, vindictive voice, and before you could react, your cell door opened, the clattering of metal of what you assumed was a body chucked in.'What you think might be your blessing may well be your curse. You hope it isn't the latter.Will you find peace with yourself through the love and care of others or will this be the spark to ignite your downfall...?
Relationships: Din Djarin/Original Female Character(s), Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You, Mandalorian/Reader, The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV) / Reader, The Mandalorian/Reader
Series: Temptations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2099205
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	1. Temptations

The overzealous grin dropped from your face as soon as the cell door slid shut, the air-tight lock hissing; twisting the dagger into your hopes of escape. Normally you were confident in situations like this, too confident. But now you knew, there was  _ no way out from this.  _

The cold metal pinched at the skin on your wrist as you writhed and contorted in an effort to gain some leverage, some space, some hope. It was no good. You were stuck, indefinitely. They knew that if you had your hands you’d make an easy case of escaping, but to your dismay, they’d clocked this, and so you were the only prisoner on the correctional transport vessel with stun cuffs.  _ Great.  _ Slowly you pulled yourself from the ground to right yourself from where you were laying after being thrown in, doing as best you could with the cuffs binding your wrist’s behind your back. Now slumped, knees bent and in a kneeling position facing away from the door, you began to take in your surroundings. 

The cell which you were housed in was cold and dark, despite the bright white light that illuminated the small box, mirroring your feelings to a T.  _ ‘ironic’  _ Four pristine white walls boxed you in, almost making you feel claustrophobic despite the room. To the left of you, there was a small ledge built into the wall, you assumed this was to be your bed. It was plain and flat, no markings, no sharp edges as to minimise the risk of injury. ‘ _ Who needs a back anyway?’  _ You mentally chuckle to yourself, trying to make light of an already bleak situation. 

What you think to be hours pass meticulously slowly, but you’ve worked yourself into a state of false meditation, daydreaming almost. It was your minds automatic repose to trauma, taking you away from the present your body found itself in and disconnecting, taking you somewhere else, anywhere else. Somewhere where you didn’t have to run and hide because of who you were. 

Trying to calm your racking nerves, you took a deep sigh,  _ ’might as well get used to it, you’re here for the lo-‘.  _

**_ Footsteps. _ ** __ But not droid…  _ human?  _ Turning your head slightly, still kneeling and eyes still closed you honed in on the noise signature, trying to make out the conversation. 

“…Gotta choose soon Twi, that destroyer’s gonna be here in 15…”. ‘ _ Destroyer?’  _ You thought to yourself, what use is a destroyer out here? This correctional transporter did carry high threat individuals, but this was a max security metal box, no one could get in or out… so you thought. 

“Patience... Lady knows best”. You could feel the blatant seduction in their voice, obviously using their words to gain an advantage over who they were talking to. If it weren’t for the destroyer comment you’d have thought they were just two workers looking for a quick fix someplace private. But the destroyer? ‘ _ What did they mea-‘ _

A heavy voice interrupts your monologue. “Just hurry up and cage him, or I'm gonna break tiny”. Focusing your mind more, you listened deeper, soon realising that two sets of footsteps were looming, louder and louder.  _ Shit, they’re in the corridor..what in the maker is going on?  _ Now only mere feet from you, the second voice speaks again. “Perfect…”. The T was exaggerated, almost with a hiss as it sounded like they were cut off from their monologue. Lighter, more agile footsteps made their way into the scene you’d pictured in your head. You imagined what sounded like two males and a female stood together on the other side of your cell. The quieter footsteps louder now, a modulated voice broke the whispering tension. “What's here, we’ve already got Qin, I thought it was only one?”. You found it hard to make out any emotion from this voice, in part the modulator but also, weirdly, the aura that was being given off also barred your mental vision. 

“An eye for an eye, Mando” came from a new, vindictive voice, and before you could react, your cell door opened, the clattering of metal of what you assumed was a body chucked in. This caught you off guard, but you quickly opened your eyes and pushed from your knees, rolling on your side to right yourself into a crouching, defensive pose just in from the back wall of your cell, now facing forwards towards the commotion. Almost as soon as it had opened, the cell door shit, cutting your chances of escape. ' _ Damn it’ _

“You deserve this!” Echoed from the corridor as the four bodies made haste. 

Quickly you darted your eyes to the new presence in your cell. The room now soaked red. Your interrogation was met with a harsh, brutal T visor. You were offset by the blank tint that blatantly stared back at you. You felt judged despite not being able to see their eyes, their gaze almost reading your mind and soul. Did they have eyes, were they human?  _ What would they do to you, were they friend or foe… _ You quickly chased that thought away, not wanting to start a fight that didn’t need to happen, but you couldn’t help the defensive feeling that had made your hairs stand on end. You loved a bit of drama, but this was all too real, being stuck on a max security ship for something you couldn’t help, now with someone, something, you didn’t know was going to eat or kill you. This had all got a bit too out of hand; either way, you weren’t going to drop your guard now, no more stupid mistakes. 

Both of you stared for a second too long, waiting for fo the other to make the first move. 

“I need to get out of this cell” came the modulated voice as they slowly pushed themselves off their front, now revealing the heavy, B _ eskar  _ chest plate.  _ Wow this guy must really be pulling the big numbers to afford Beskar…  _ makes sense for them to be jumping a max security prison, or was jumping at least until they landed indignantly in your cell. 

“No shit.” You chime back, almost laughing at the plainly obvious remark that they’d made.  _ Duh.  _ They centred himself, now standing a few feet from you; still not cutting the weighted gaze between you two. 

“Give me a hand getting out and I’ll help you get off this ship”. Now that was tempting, but if they hadn’t already noticed your wrists were bound so the gesture fell short. 

“If you hadn’t noticed my hands are already tied, would if I could.” You chide, your day couldn’t get any worse. Being offered a way out by this mysterious armoured being, almost given it on a silver spoon and plate, only for it to be out of arms reach, literally. Slowly lifting yourself up, you turned to go and sit on the bed sticking out from the wall. Before you could sit, the walking shield had walked up over to you, haste in his movements. He went to grab your wrist’s from the side. Alarm bells ringing, you quickly ducked and rolled to the cell door at the front, just avoiding his grasp. No way they were going to take your denied offer out on you. You were smaller than them, yes, but also ( _ you didn’t like to admit)  _ highly trained. You stood at a 45 to them, knees bent and ready to defend yourself the best you could despite your restrictions. 

They turned harshly, squaring up to you. “Let me remove the cuffs”. This stopped you dead in your tracks.  _ They were gonna help you? Why? What use could you be to them?  _ You slowly stood up, turning towards the door now, exposing your back. This went against everything you’d ever learnt, Lori would murder you if they knew you were doing this, but something in the other’s demeanour made you trust them like you were in a trance, something you didn’t know as to why, but your gut was usually correct. And it was. The sound of cuffs hitting the floor made you flinch. You weren’t dead,  _ phew _ . Turning around hastily, you met the gaze again, but this time it was less threatening, still scary, yes, but trustworthy. 

They walked up next to you, peering out of the cell into the corridor, You notice your morphed reflection in the shiny Beskar pauldron. Breaking you from your gaze, they pushed you back, urging you to get down to the side of the door, head-turning and placing an upright finger in front of the visor, mimicking a ‘shh’. You got the hint. 

Body tense you crouched, back against the wall. Gazing down at your wrists you clocked the dried crimson lines etched into your skin. You must’ve really been pulling on those cuffs, enough to draw blood. 

Quietly they lifted their left hand in between the bars of the door, their helmet just off the side, tracking something. The menacing glare was evident even from behind the mask, you could feel the urgency prickling off of them. You stiffened, remaining quiet, you could sense that this person knew what they were doing. 

Suddenly they were struggling against the door, turning their back then yanking their arm down only to them grab a security void with their other hand from behind the door. The droid let off a blaster shot, the projectile pinging off the inside of the room, eventually discharging when it hit the armour of the masked assailant next to you. Unfazed, undamaged.  _ damn, that stuff’s hard _ . 

The arm comes unhinged and the wine of the droid almost pulls a heartstring, until you remember that's the whole reason as to why you're here... _ droids.  _ The masked accomplice lifts the blaster, making quick work of the droid.

They drop the blaster, taking the arm they just pillaged and placing it vertically to the locking key of the door. With a subtle twist, the unlocking key slides out from the droid's arm, to then be placed into the key and used to unlock the door. 

The door slides open. You can’t believe it, everything that's happened in the last 24 hours has been a blur, but this, you couldn’t have pictured it even if you tried. 

You look up again into the steely gaze. “Follow me, behind me” came the voice. Damn, they weren’t one with words, either that or this was just routine to them. Standing back up, you nod slightly at them. You guess you aren’t one for words either, especially now. You’d always figured it’s best to keep your mouth shut unless you have to talk, and even then, in- tense situations like this, you had to be sure that what you were saying was thought out and logical; you had no time for mistakes. Plus, you weren’t going to give yourself away straight away, you didn’t even know who you were escaping with, they could be more trouble than you could handle. Hushing that thought away you reasoned,  _ it can’t get much worse than this, trust yourself to make it out alive _ . 

Following behind them, jogging with light footsteps through the hallway, silent, red lights flashing, the place plunged in an atmospheric,  _ dangerous _ glow. 

You gazed upon the controls, wondering why they’d brought you to the control room. There are no escape pods here, surely just getting back to however they got on this ship would be the smartest idea? Breaking your line of thought, they point to the security screens, showing four bodies running down a hallway. Two Twi’leks, a Devaronian and a Human. The conversation from earlier now started to make sense. 

“I'll take the Devaronian and the human, you take the Twi’lek. The female has knives.” The voice sounding stern and logical, you trusted this voice, even through the vocoder. They knew what they were doing, at least it looked that way. “We have 13 minutes to leave. Make it quick.”  _ Jeez ok, I’ll do my best, how do they even know I know how to fight?  _ Before you could ask anymore internal questions, they were out the door, pacing down the hallway to the left. Taking this as your cue, you followed, branching in the other direction.  _ She has knives, right, close combat, you’ve done this before, you can do - you will do it again. Focus.  _ After a quick few turns here and there you hear the closing of a door just around the corner from you, up the hallway to your left, accompanied by the grumble and hiss of a female voice. You lean back against the wall, closing your eyes you chant to yourself,  _ That must be her. Now, breathe… Easy pickings.  _ Striding from the corner you were leaning against, mind focused, you face the Twi’. 

“Spose' you could call it bad luck, others fortune.” You say smoothly, calmly. The Twi shifts, pivoting to face you from the other end of the hallway. 

“I guess you two are working together now? Hmm? Yes,… did he charm you? Don’t take it personally honey but he’s not your type, his tastes aren’t in the defenceless.” She remarks, the S rolling off of her tongue in a hiss; her eyes glaring daggers into yours, trying to force the focus out of you.  _ Seen it, done that _ , you thought to yourself. 

“And you’d know?” You retort back, still holding the battle-trained composure in your voice. 

“Oh honey you really have a lot to learn…” she strides slowly like she’s hunting her prey.  _ Yeah, ‘cause I’m the prey in this situation. _ You internally smirked, you almost felt bad for the pain you know you could cause, but shouldn’t. That’s not the Way. “I know exactly what makes him tick, done it myself. You’ll get bored, he never removes  _ it _ . Don’t flatter yourself, you’re not any different.”  _ Who even said I had an interest, didn’t even know they were a He. Guess this one wasn’t a clean breakup.  _ You chimed to yourself, her position now about 4 metres away. You could sense it, she thought this was easy, that she had this.  _ Sure she does. _

Then, you feel it. Tensing you duck to the right, balancing on all fours as a dagger shoots past your left shoulder, your eyes still pinned to hers, a small smirk gracing your lips. You’d missed this, the adrenaline, the game of prediction,  _ feeling _ . This was where you felt most alive, doing what you were made to do. The gift you had was a double-edged knife. Yes, it got you in this situation, but without it, you’d have been dead long before your years. 

She strode forwards, you lunging low to the ground, effortlessly covering ground. You were now only a couple feet from each other. She crouched, attempting to mirror your battle style. The Twi’ goes to throw another dagger as you rolled to her left side. You’d sensed it before her hand even left the blade. Quickly standing to her side, you turned your head and looked into her eyes; they’re now wide, the confidence stripped bare, beneath the realisation that she’d maybe have bit off more than she could chew. 

With this you dropped, kicking a leg to trip her from behind. Falling, she grabbed your collar, pulling you with her. Now falling atop, you righted yourself by bracing to the side, scrambling up into your stance. She went to lunge but paused. Glancing down she saw her belt was gone, confusion, then realisation swept her face to meet you gripping it, your right hand through a tightened loop and the other pulling it taunt. 

_ I love that trick _ . 

Grabbing another dagger she bound towards you, holding it outright in her right hand. You twisted to the side, wrapping her wrist in her own belt. She shifted, throwing a punch to your right cheek.  _ No stupid mistakes. _ The anger at your mistake now bubbling you wrap her other hand in the belt as its retreating, her wrists now bound with yours. She hisses a snarl at you, “Bitch.” The smirk on your face grows a little wider now, the true fun only just beginning. 

You shifted your weight harshly to the left, throwing her in a 180 to disorient and gain momentum. Dropping to your knees and twisting you bring your entwined wrists above your head and then yank over your right shoulder, bringing her down onto her back, head now facing you and her body strewn away from your core. You quickly unwind her wrists, forcing the belt down over her neck to strangle. You stretched out your left leg reaching for the knife that had dropped from her pouch with your toes, sliding it back to you with a kick. The knife now secured in your left hand, you edge it to her neck, only now looking back into her eyes. “A-lot to learn huh? Ironic.” The satisfaction in your voice over the play on words was clear, and so was the fear in her eyes. Oh, you loved proving people wrong, especially when they pretty much do it for you. 

That's when you felt it,  _ the temptation, the greed to end her now. Do it. You’ve done it before, yes, you can do it again, do it.  _

No. You’re not giving yourself up like that again. You barely made it back to yourself last time, don’t push your luck now, you’ve learnt since then. You’re a better person now, you think… killing like this. This is not the Way. 

The smirk now leaving your face, you twist her round, knife now held to the back of her neck. Using the belt to secure her wrists you pull her up. Eyeing the empty cell on the other side of the hallway you walk her over. She’s protesting but stops as soon as you edge the tip of her own blade into the skin on the back of her neck. She tenses, but follows your directions to the cell, stepping in and turning to face you from within the room. 

“Coward” She whispered, eyes attached to yours through the fury of defeat, her fake smile taunting you. 

_ Oh, the temptation.  _

“Don't flatter yourself, Honey”. 

Her smile drops along with the security door. 


	2. Sly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Xian locked away you find yourself back with your prison pal. One thing leads to another and now you're admitting your deepest, darkest secret.

Following your gut, you end up meeting back up with your prison pal. The red light saturating the hallway in some sort of pathetic fallacy, the mood lighting fit the situation you both found yourselves in perfectly. Exchanging a silent acknowledgement to one another, you walk to him. His gaze commanding you without words.

You walked side by side, following his lead on when to turn. He occasionally brushed your shoulder when prompting you to take a right or left down a new corridor. The alarm was drilling your mind into a rhythm, one that only deepened your focus with each note. He strode to his end destination with you at his side, dominance drumming each time his boots hit the floor.

You follow him as he steps right into the corridor. Halfway up a ladder is the other Twi’lek you saw on the security cameras in the control room. A picture glances your mind, the body of the human guard strewn on the floor, a shadow of crimson red surrounding their neck. You assumed that the female Twi had caused this injury due to the sharp cut that lacerated his neck. The thought that that could have been you didn’t go amiss.

Turning to face both of you they stepped off the ladder, letting out a low tonal remark, “You killed the others” His eyes glowered at the Beskar helmet next to you. Not getting any reaction, their eyes drift to you, piercing. You knew then that he’d already sized you up, eyes undressing your body with obvious intent, it was shameless. You’d seen those eyes hundreds of times…you hated being a woman sometimes, you’d grown to know through experience that many people only ever wanted one thing, and they’d never even try to hide it. When working you’d always tried to make the best of that situation. This meant that occasionally if the moment was right, you’d ensure that they never looked upon you the same way again, or anyone else for that matter.

“They got what they deserved” the vocoder returned. You glance up, there was no sentiment or anger laced in this return; it was stern, assertive. _Had he killed them?_ The tonality of it had you silently reeling in the depths of your stomach. You didn’t realise you were staring into the Beskar side profile until a snarl left the Twi’lek’s lips, deadpanning your accomplice, “You kill me, you don’t get your money”. The tension is palpable, unnerving. You feel like the walking armoury next to you is buzzing, the contemplation simmering like blind fury.

“Whatever Ran promised, I'll make sure you get it, and more. Come on, Mando.”

_Mando, so that's his name…_

_“_ Be reasonable. _Hm_? You were hired to do a job, right? So _do it_. Isn't that your code? Aren't you a man of honour?”

That obviously seemed to hit a nerve with Mando, his stance shifting slightly. You could sense the trepidation in his aura. _This man has some serious relaxing to do…_

______

With the Twi’lek cuffed and what you assumed to be the remnants of a piloting droid which Mando had dealt with earlier (rather harshly but you could understand from what you’d pieced together), Mando piloted the ship away from the Transporter, booting into hyperspace.

You sat facing the Twi’lek in the cargo hold of the ship. His head was donned to the ground, hands cuffed in front of him. Your stare didn’t leave his body, partly due to the obvious risk of mutiny, and the other in detached thought over what had just happened in the last 30 minutes.

 _‘Do it’_ replays in your head like an old Holotape. Considering you were completely unarmed, famished from not eating in what seemed like days and noticeably stiff from the meditative position you’d strained yourself in before the break-in, you’d fought pretty well. You’d made a stupid mistake, allowing the female Twi’ to get a hook to your left cheek, the bruise now starting to throb a little. But that's not why you’re simmering, brooding. No, it's that voice that told you to do it, the _temptation_ to finish her, like that. To quench that thirst you hadn’t faced for over a year now. The fact that you even let that side come out, to even grace you during that moment, that's what you’re fretting over. You’d done it before, countless times. But that was different, it was your job. You don’t have any duty now…This you’d have to fix, you’re not letting yourself go back, not after the pain it took to get out.

“Did you kill her?” The Twi’ is now looking at you, breaking your meditative stare.

“No” You reply with resignation, not wanting him to pry.

“She must’ve put up a fight, held you to your money” He cuts back, eyes shifting to the yellowing bruise forming on your face. You’d had enough of this guy already and it’d barely been 5 minutes. You could assume from the similar nature of their anatomy and his obvious concern that they were related, maybe brother and sister? _Hmm, ok, if he’s going to be like that…_

“If she put her money where her mouth is she might’ve given me a run for mine” The venom in your words hitting exactly where you wanted them to - obviously angering the Twi, who then lurched towards you, hands wrenching for your throat.

A hand caught his.

You peered up, gazing at the Beskar side profile again, projecting his domineering ambience through the empty space surrounding all of you. Before you could react, Mando has brought the Twi’s hands back into their own face with force, hard enough to cut the lip and draw blood. You blush a little at the gesture. You didn’t know if Mando was doing that for you or out of retaliation at his own complicated situation, but either way, it was appreciated. The Twi is swiftly bound to the hull with a metal rope, wincing as Mando tightens it a bit too much past comfort. A chuckle barely dissipates from Mando as he yanks the knot, _He obviously found the fun in this too_ …

Once done, he stands and turns to face you, the Beskar helm studying the bruise which had started to mottle your cheek, or at least you think that's why he’s looking… you can’t tell with his face hidden behind that visor. Yes, you could normally read peoples energies pretty well, so reading faces wasn’t something you depended on solely for judging situations, but something about him just made it impossible to know what they were truly thinking, feeling. This intrigued you, more than it should have and soon the stare becomes awkward as you exit that reverie. He broads his shoulders again, almost squaring up to you until his head is nodding to the ladder of the cockpit. You get the hint. You follow behind him up to the cockpit.

He gestures to the co-pilot seat in the right-hand corner as he sits in the pilot seat at the front, his back to you. You take the seat as asked, admiring the little streaks of light reflecting off the Durasteel. _Hyperspace._ You’d missed this, the stars and planets manipulating into sharp daggers that fly past the Transparasteel in-front of you. The beautiful score of ocean blue and dappling purple slicing the endless black abyss of space. It was mesmerising to watch, hypnotising you into deep thought. You’d never really been free, always under someone's tether or command, but you’d travelled, by-maker you’d travelled; the nature of your past job demanded you to. But that was different, you were held in what felt like a cage, no windows or external life, keeping you focused, but torturing you with your own cruel mind. That version of you was controlled, unwilled, contained. This though, the feeling of now escaping with no plan or contract, the free will to use your mind with no hidden duty… it fills your chest; choking you on the freedom of space which you could now call your own. 

A shuffle catches your dream and pulls you back from wherever you were, and a little green ear pokes out from the rummaging. _Wait, a what?! Is that a…_ and to answer your question, Mando turns in his chair to you, now completely revealing the creature sat in his lap.

“He’s the Child”.

Oh right, yeah, a child _…sure._ The confusion in your face was obvious despite you trying to be as polite as possible, so Mando interjects, “He’s not my Child, but, well….” He stutters on his own words, trying to think of the best way to explain this odd situation, “I rescued him, and he rescued me. I look after him now, as my own”

“Oh, well… nice to meet you, Child” you retort back, a genuine smile breaking onto your face as the big, chocolate brown eyes don yours. He was a cute little thing, green and slightly wrinkly on the top of his head, which sprouted a few grey hairs. By Maker he had big ears, they protruded from his head like pyramids, definitely a bit much for his little stature. You’d never seen anything like it, and yet he was adorable. You already loved this kid, and now you know why Mando was so set on getting back here. You reach out a finger to say introduce yourself in a sort of handshake, the Child reciprocating.

The touch was short, sweet. You felt a sense of calmness wave over you, understanding. It was soothing, this little gremlin of sorts was wise beyond your years, you could feel it. Then you feel a burning heat glaring into you. You know what it is. He’s staring at you. He's not even bothering to hide it, it was shameless.

The stare holds you in place. You know he’s summing something up, trying to justify something. What though? You can’t read him, no matter how hard you try, his emotions in-penetrable. The stare gets you a bit flustered, you’re now fidgeting in your seat, still trying to pretend that your mind is on the child and not him. The words of the Twi female flash your mind “ _…did he charm you?”_ No, no he didn’t… _did he? Is he distracting you…? ‘_ ** _Don’t be stupid_** ’ you internally hiss to yourself. You’ve barely known this person, you’ve exchanged like 5 words and you’re already preening for him? Don't be so foolish! Gods, it's been years since anything but _control yourself, damn._

“You can look after him” _Wait, what?_

 _“_ Uhhh, what do you mean 'look after him'? I’ve got places to go, I’m not a mother by your demand!” You punch back. _How dare he?_ Who does he think he is, demanding you look after _his_ child? Yes, you helped each other out back there but this is taking his expectations a bit too far.

“A life huh? What kind of life where you living to get you locked up on that transporter? Sounds _great”._ The added sarcasm wasn’t filtered… the _audacity._ He’s just taking this to a whole new level. You’d kept things respectful, damn it, you almost thought that you’d gained an ally, a possible friend, but now you know you definitely judged that book wrong.

“Yeah, thought so. Look after the kid while I take care of Quin” He got up and left without hesitation, the Child now sat on the pilot's seat oogling at your dropped jaw.

___

The ship eased into the spaceport, dropping once it was completely inside.

“Stay here with the kid, don’t come out. I’ll be back in a minute”

You stayed silent. You didn’t even look at the man as he left, stepping down the ladder. You were angry, _so_ angry. You’d been brooding for hours in hyperspace, even after he’d returned and put the Child to sleep in his makeshift cot. You knew he knew you were angry, and you could sense his silent frustration too - he wreaked of it, this he couldn’t filter from you. You were angry for different reasons though. His probably from his minor prison stint, but yours because of the fact he was right, and you hated to admit it. You really had no life to go to, no home, nowhere, _no one._ You were alone, completely and utterly. Heck, you’d go back to Lori if it wasn’t for the fact that he admonished you from ever returning. That stung, the wound still fresh after all this time. You’d only done what he’d taught you, to the T.

Lori took you in from a young age. You know he wasn’t your dad, you couldn’t remember your Dad actually, or your Mother. They were just ghosts to you, empty shadows of something that should’ve been, or at least thats what you’d been told. They’d been murdered, this was all you could make out from Lori’s hints over time; for what though? You’d never know. But Lori never let you dwell on this, he always said, “Holding onto feelings of beings that were never yours will get you nowhere. Focus on the now, what you feel in the present. Your emotions are your greatest weakness” He was right. You were too emotional for your own good. You’d always indulge in your feelings. You thought that listening to them was the right thing to do, but how wrong you were. Lori took special care to demonstrate how emotion was your enemy, how you’d only end up hurt. He tried to take away your ability to feel and you used to hate him for that. Now though… you kinda wished he had taken it and that you’d listened.

You’re snapped back into the present by the sounds of the ramp motors whirring, closing the ship up, accompanied by light, hurried footsteps in the hull towards the ladder.

“Take the child, we need to go, now” He ordered, sternness lacing his voice even through the vocoder. He hands you the child and swivels the chair as he sits, punching a few buttons then launching out of the hanger.

“Take it easy!” You counter. Still mad, you mimic his sternness in an attempt to unnerve him; it was futile.

Then, just as he swings the hyperdrive arm forward, three x-wings jump out of hyperspace and dart past, almost taking the ships right side with them. And with that, you’re gone, the mosaic of hyperspace filling the cockpit once again. A few silent minutes pass. Mando is busy pressing buttons to things you wouldn’t have the faintest clue about. The swiftness obvious through hours of muscle memory. He knew this ship well, that was obvious in his composed manner as he set what you presumed were co-ordinates to his next destination.

“What was that about?” You probe, trying to cut the suffocating silence. Surely he must know something? X-wings don’t just pop up out of nowhere, especially three of them. It was blatantly something urgent… and then the thought hits you.

_Were they tracking you?_

Almost as if he could read your mind, he intercepted, head still facing forward, “When the crew reached the ship to get Quin we found the control terminal so we could open his cell. In there was a human guard. He stalled us… he was panicking. Xian killed him, in the process activating a tracking fob to alert the Republic of a break-in. I put it in Quin’s pocket before we left, hence the haste”

“Sly fox” you uttered back, slight playfulness interwoven in appreciation of his handling. That was good, a canny move. It even made you giggle a bit inside, _Karma._

His head turned to yours from behind the pilot's seat, the ship now in autopilot.

“They got what they deserved” The words repeated from a few hours ago returning the shrewd nature of your earlier reply.

“True” You giggled your reply, the irony of it all a bit weird, but funny nonetheless. “So what’s the deal with you? Why’d they turn on you?” The question jumped from your mouth, a little too curious for his liking.

“Why’d you ask?” His reply short, cutting. _Jeez, why’s he got to be so curt?_

“Well… if I’m going to be looking after _your_ child I spose' I should know why they decided to run on you, it was obviously for a reason?” That seemed fair enough you thought, a simple question, and honest too. You didn’t want to say yes to looking after this rando’s child if he was some crazy psycho… _not that you had a choice._

“I put Quin in there, so they used me to get him out.”

“Ah” Is all you could muster. Not really much else you could say back to that, he’d obviously closed that channel of conversation. You weren’t usually much of a talker either, but that's because those that surrounded you would take advantage of what you said, who you were. If you opened up a conversation it was an easy gateway to your emotions, to manipulation. Lori had taught you it’s always best to keep your mouth shut. You learnt this the hard way, being a young woman in your line of work meant you met your fair share of remarks and snides. The discipline it took to not reply, to pipe up and retaliate was a skill hard-earned. You didn’t waste time thinking of the things people have done to you without your permission, your control. You wanted to hurt them, the temptation to do so was palpable, but you knew if you did, you’d be just as bad as them, maybe even worse. That’s what always confused you about your training at first, surely training to be a walking Grim-Reaper gave you a free pass to handing out death notes, but as your training progressed you quickly realised that murdering through retaliation would only drag you further down, scratching the itch but forming a new one in a place continually more difficult to reach.

“What's your story then?” The question cuts the fuzzy tether holding you to your memory, startling you.

“What?” You were so deep in thought you didn’t quite catch what he’d said.

“Why were you in there… what did you do?” The scepticism in his voice was only barely noticeable. You reasoned that it was because he’d stumbled across you locked up in a max security transporter, he must’ve pondered and thought you were a crazy psychopath… _you’re not, right?_

You hesitated, knowing there was no other way around this. He could just look you up on the Holocomputer, your name would be top of the list. And hell, you were in a max prison unit, so using petty crime wouldn’t cut it either. You’d have to tell him, be honest. That's the honourable thing to do, right? You just hoped that they’d understand and not retaliate too much…

 _“_ I… I umm… I went Rogue” The words burnt as they slipped from your mouth, the stale truth bitter in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, hope you all enjoyed Chapter 1! I had written this chapter straight after finishing chapter 1, hence the quick upload. I hope u all enjoy x


	3. Disposable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You hesitated, knowing there was no other way around this. He could just look you up on the Holocomputer, your name would be top of the list. And hell, you were in a max prison unit, so using petty crime wouldn’t cut it either. You’d have to tell him, be honest. That's the honourable thing to do, right? You just hoped that they’d understand and not retaliate too much… 
> 
> “ I… I umm… I went Rogue” The words burnt as they slipped from your mouth, the stale truth bitter in the air.'
> 
> can Mando see past your history and trust you? what lies ahead for you now you're 'free?'....

His chair slowly turned to face you. The child was sat comfortably in his lap playing with a small silver ball, completely entranced by its chrome.

“Is that it?” He scoffed back with a slight hiccup of a laugh. “Me too, why’d they lock you up there? Bit overkill?”

“Yeah…” You drifted, wondering whether you should tell the truth. “I was captured about 2 years ago…” You start, gauging his reaction to see whether he actually wanted to know. He sat up and fixed his gaze to you, signalling that he was listening and for you to continue. You dropped your head, eyes now transfixed on the loose piece of thread you were wrapping around your fingers,

“Well, I was captured. I was originally what you could call a hit-man for the Republic. I’d worked for them consistently for around 8 years. They used me to hunt down and dispose of Ex-Empire politicians and War Lords, but one mission went south and I was drugged. I was then sold to a high-class underground fighting ring, they’d implanted some sort of control chip which meant they could stop me from lashing out or protesting. They could make me do whatever they wanted…” you paused.

This part of the memory was particularly painful. “They didn’t just use me for fighting,” There were so many hidden meanings and stories hidden there, stories you’ve hidden away and not even bared to think about yourself. They’re too painful, just thinking about it felt like daggers were being slowly pushed into your skull, “One customer had let their name loose during…” Your breath hitched, tears now pricking your eyes as the trauma replayed vividly in-front of your eyes, again and again. You close your eyes so that Mando can’t see how much this has affected you. “I committed the name to memory. During one fight I heard that name again. I saw them in the crowd and something in me just snapped, I couldn’t take the pressure anymore. As soon as I’d dealt with my opponent I sent a knife straight through his skull.” The memory was clear as day now and just as callous.

_The extravagant curtains draped the room. Rows of black leather chairs lined the arena, circling around the central ring. The lights were dim, a subtle red stained the multicultural onlookers in a bloodied mood lighting. This was a highly prestigious place, only the highest-ranking officials and galactic influencers could witness this fight… this was obvious from the lavish guest attire. Some coated greedily in gold, others jewels and crystals. Normally you’d be dismayed by the lavish beauty of it all, but not today. You were fighting for your life against one of your more difficult opponents. They were at least 3 times your size, chiselled from pure warrior muscle, wielding a heavy battle-axe which was decorated with the bones of their previous wins. You’d given them a run for your money the whole fight, slowly chipping away at their ego with your double-edged Phrik knives. These were the only weapons you needed. Despite this, you weren’t yourself in this moment. Your targets unbeknownst to you were sat peacefully in the viewing box. Your thoughts were painful, the weight of the constant torture and manipulation had worn you thin, you were on your last tether. Despite the chip stopping you from resisting, your soul was ripping that connection from you with every punch, kick and slice. ‘This is your purpose, do it’ swirled your mind in a violent tempest. The words tortured you, controlling every cell in your body._

_And then you heard it, their name. You glanced towards its direction. They were right there, in front of you, taunting you with their presence. ‘Complete the mission. Do what you have trained to do._ **_Feed that temptation_ ** _’. You’d had enough. As if timed moved slower now, you slid under the belly of your opponent, grabbing their ankle you kicked yourself up, swinging onto their back. You planted a knife into the nape of their neck, twisting it to make sure. As they fell forwards you used the momentum to jump, launching your other knife over the barrier and into the viewing box.It left your fingers before you could control it, before you could stop yourself. The next few seconds felt like a lifetime that day. The confused agony not leaving their face until you’d dropped to of view. You’d watched their face as they realised what had happened. The synthetic mind that had been forced into you left the moment the knife did, and the weight of that kill latched onto your soul._

“The synthetic consciousness left with the knife. What I didn’t know is that they were a high ranking Republican political official, and you can piece the puzzle from there. That was that. It was over for me”

You could feel his rage. This had angered him more than you.You didn’t dare say a thing. You fiddled harder with the fabric in your fingers now, the anxiety was suffocating you and you didn’t know what to do.You knew that what the officer did to you was wrong, illegal. But the way you’d been treated afterwards was what stung. _You_ were the dirty criminal, they were a war hero. It didn’t take long for them to convince you that you were crazy, that you were a _psychopath_.

This guilt would carry you to the grave, maybe even push you in.

“If it wasn’t your choi-… if it was synthetic, why’d they lock you up? You were kidnapped and manipulated.” The question fair, and exactly the same question that had eaten away at you ever since they sentenced you. You were taken, held hostage, abused and tortured. Your body became a toy, something for them to release their anger and lustful cravings on. The pain they slowly incited within you only made things easier for them, more enjoyable, they fed off your hate. You tried to cut your emotions, but what they did to you was unforgivable, sadistic. They used your emotions against you, like Lori said would happen. By the time their use for you came around you were an empty shell, stripped bare. They implanted you, and with the flip of a switch, you were their puppet.

“My kidnappers implanted a chip into my brain. They could control me when they wanted, on and off like a droid. It was an old hijacked Clone Wars tech. They only had one use for me, making money. Once I’d done their bidding for them, they’d turn it off. After the incident though, they destroyed the switch along with the evidence. I was classed as insane. The Republic arrested me and took me in. That's how I ended up in the transporter. I was _Disposable_ ”

The last word rang your ears, it was driven into you from the start. No one had any attachments to you, no one. You were nothing. A credit without currency. _An object_.

The sigh that left your body felt like it took the last remaining pieces of your soul. Your tears relenting now, a nervous response to the rehashed trauma. You’d thought about it until your mind was raw. No matter how hard you reasoned with your conscience, you couldn’t shake the guilt. It was your fault, you knew it. You wished that you hadn’t thrown that knife, that you’d had more self-control and restraint. Deep down though, there was no other reason, you killed them, no one else. _You, you’re the sick psycho._

“So they can’t control you anymore?” It was low, quiet. You knew he was trying to understand how it all worked, it was confusing even to you, and you weren’t the best at explaining things either.

“I don’t think so, they said they’d destroyed the controller,” You told yourself that they couldn’t control you like they did then, not anymore. But you couldn’t deny the power they still held over you. The way they’d manipulated, engraved their domination into you meant that you’d do anything they’d say out of fear. They were the only people you feared. You couldn’t face that pain again, and you knew resisting would only lead to torture. Out here in this ship, flying through hyperspace… they had no grip here, you were away from them, free.

He seemed uneasy, and you thought it was because he suspected that you could just turn on him at the flick of a switch. You were sure that they’d destroyed it. They’d not used it since…

“Would you like a job?” Out of everything you thought that he was going to say, you really could not have ever thought he’d be asking to employ you. You darted your eyes up, the confusion on your face was almost painful. Completely speechless. He elaborated, “I need someone to look after the Kid” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You’d just told this guy that you were a top-ranking assassin and now he wants to employ you as his babysitter?

“Are you having a laugh?” Is all you could say, chuckling as the words left your mouth. You’d never dealt with kids. You had no idea what you were doing. Mando seemed to be doing fine, why did he need you?

“Why, what makes you think that?” He sounds confused now. He shifts his head back a bit, his back straightening. He really did not know why this was all so confusing…

“You want me… _me”_ you point to your chest, emphasising your concern “of all people, you want _me_ to look after the Child? Did you listen to a word I just said?”

“Yeah. You’re overqualified. Exactly what I’m looking for.” Right, this is odd. You pinch yourself, are you really awake. Have you somehow died or is this some messed up dream?

“I don’t understand?” You curt back, arms now folded in an aggressive manner. You weren’t up for being played around.

“I need someone who can protect the Child, you said you were trained and that’s obvious, I saw the way you moved from me in the cell, how you came away unscathed from Xian” He was right. You started to see what he was getting at, and despite agreeing that you could quite comfortably be the Childs personal bodyguard, you couldn’t deny the fact you had no idea how to look after a Child in the first place.

“I have no idea how to look after a Child…”

“Neither do I, we can figure it out together” He looked down to check on the kid. He was in a whole other galaxy, completely amiss to the tense situation happening just in front of him, the chrome ball his only concern. Mando’s gaze held for a moment, you assumed to weigh up all the possibilities of what he was offering. He turned back to you.

“You can call me Mando” And with that, he left the cockpit to put his weapons away in the main hull. You glanced at the child’s beaming toothy grin as he was carried away. You were frozen. That was it. You’d just bagged yourself a job. 

___

He watched you, eyes bearing into your back as you assessed what was now going to be your new home…if you could even call it that. He handed you a small bag of clothes, some black long sleeve t-shirt’s that were way too big for you, some trousers and toiletries. The gesture was appreciated. You placed it down next to the metal slab of a pull-out bed… Damn, _it is what is._ You scold yourself, you’ve never had luxury, why do you expect it now? Maybe the promise of freedom was sweeter than it actually was. He nods for you to follow him out of the room.

He shows you the fresher, which is small but practical. Next, the carbonite freezer, explaining briefly that this is where his bounties go. Then, he pointed to his cabin, making it explicitly clear not to enter or open it unless he says so, even in emergencies. You thought it was odd but then it clicked as to why, and so you let the question die before it surfaced.

You’ve heard the stories of Mandalorian’s, how they’re the fiercest warriors in the galaxy. You’d read books about the battles, the power that ran through their blood. Through your job, you’d come across a few who posed as Mandalorian's but were never real. They wore the armour for protection and style, never out of honour. But with the way this guy acted, spoke and had some sort of attachment issues to his armour… you sussed he was the real deal. Xian even said the doesn’t take it off during… _stop._

_______

A few days had passed now and Mando was getting more and more agitated. You’d stopped off at a small spaceport on a remote planet to gather more supplies and fuel. 

You walked together through the market. He’d given you a small bag of credits so that you could get some spare clothes, toiletries and anything else you’d need for your stay on the Razor Crest. It wasn’t much but was enough to tide you over. You couldn’t complain, you had no money so it was better than nothing. You made sure to say thanks as you walked out the ship, following just behind him.

The market was a bit overwhelming at first, but once you’d realised that no one was out to get you you settled down. Mando walked in front, the Kid sat up in his pod, watching the people go about their lives. You noticed that people were making extra effort to stay out of his way, turning to whisper to others as you passed. He stuck out like a sore thumb wearing all that armour, but he didn’t seem to care. It certainly made traversing the busy streets a lot easier. You also found that you got things for a lot cheaper too, he’d stand just over your shoulder each time you went to a stall. The owner would give you the biggest smile whilst simultaneously trying not to anger the armoured chrome bucket behind you.

You found one stall that sold a bazaar range of things, from cutlery to footwear. But what caught your eye was the small Orback toy sat over in the far corner. It was perfect for the kid, it’d keep him distracted and it meant that Mando might get the silver chrome ball back. You asked for the price, not bothering to haggle the shopkeeper. Once you’d paid for it he handed it over and you placed it straight into the Childs hands. He looked it over for a second, confused at what you were giving him. He soon realised and the noise he made melted your heart, he was ecstatic. Waving it around in the air you grabbed the silver ball and handed it to Mando. He nodded at you, then glanced at the now screaming child who was what looked like laying down the law to his new friend.

After a while, the distance between you and Mando got closer and closer until there came a point where your arms were practically nudging one-another with each stride. You didn’t mind the contact, it was nice actually. Even in the busy streets, you felt like the only one there, his presence looming and protective. As the streets got busier you started to get antsy, you’re now scanning for possible threats. You didn’t want to slip up on your first day on the job, first impressions count. Mando could sense your tension and tried to soothe you by resting a hand onto the small of your back as you were walking. It brought your attention away from the dark alleyway and the rooftops and right into his touch. It paid off and you were instantly calmer. You said thanks through a small smile, which still hadn’t left your face whilst you were packing your stuff away back on the ship.

“We have to go somewhere, to pick up someone. I know you’re skilled in fighting, more than many I’ve seen” The compliment lands short as he continues, “The Child has a bounty and he isn’t safe until we take out the root cause. I'm going to need your help with this, is that ok?”

“Yes… for the Child, anything” He stared at you for a second. You guessed it was so he could read your face, ensure that you were ok with what he was asking of you. If it meant that the Child would be safe, then you’d do it. You know it was now your job, but over the few days you’ve been part of his crew, the Child has grown on you, incredibly. He’s already taught you so much, things you never thought you’d learn, and you’re grateful to the Child for that. Even though he can’t talk, he still finds ways to communicate warmth and hope. You don’t like to admit it but he is growing on you…a lot. He nodded and then left for the cockpit, firing up the engines and directing the ship out of the port. You turned away, walking back to your room. 

__________

You wake screaming, the torture of your nightmare gripping your neck vindictively, suffocating you, dragging you into the depths of your mind that you never want to re-visit. You’re screaming but its broken, bloodied, hurt. You’re sat upright now, gripping your neck as you find release, the door to your cabin swinging open. He rushes in, quickly scanning the room for the cause, only to set his eyes on you and realise the root of the problem. He slows, just a small space between the both of you now, his helm still checking to ensure there’s no physical harm causing your pain.

You struggle to catch your breath, still clutching at your throat. The dried tears coating your cheeks, your eyes glint off of the ships dimmed lights. The extend of your struggle was shown in the reflection of his Beskar suit, the physical strain pertinent around your neck, the grip you’d been holding was enough to kill.

You were still struggling to breathe but were completely conscious now. Mando reached out a hand to your shoulder, trying to soothe you, “Breathe” He looks again to triple check the child isn’t doing any crazy magic as he had woken in a fit of tears too.

You quickly turn to look at him, your breathing still hoarse. The physical contact cutting through your mind and bringing you to now. Your eyes search for his. The black visor stared back. It’s probably good that you can’t see his face, as its currently slightly torn at the physical wound you’d inflicted to yourself in your sleep. His eyes scan the rest of your body, gazing at your arms which are now bare, the sleeves of the black-top he had given you were now rolled up. They’re riddled with scars of different shapes and sizes, but obvious. He glanced to your neck again, the edges of some pointed out from under the neck of the tee, some raised, some etched, some burned.

“Sorry for startling you…I…” The embarrassment starting to set in now you’ve absorbed the situation.

“The Child woke in tears too, and then I heard you screaming. Cara’s looking after him now”.

You furrow your brows at the new information. The Child too? Was he connected to your dream somehow? Or did the feeling transfer… you wouldn’t know, just acknowledging the connection and leaving it at that.

“Yeah… I was confused too…” he’d noticed the coincidence too, “We’ve got a busy day ahead of us. You should start getting ready soon.”

All this information was starting to rack your brain, the sleepy haze in your mind making it difficult to focus. Then you remembered.

_The last week had been a blur. You’d picked up some reinforcements for the mission. First, an ex-shock trooper who went by the name Cara, the tattoo was one of the first things you noticed. She wore it proudly. Cara seemed nice enough even though Mando had told her your backstory, she understood. Her eyes had seen the horror of manipulation too. She knew pain, death. You doubt she’d excuse what you did, but it seemed as though she’d done her fair share and maybe call it even. You’d made small conversation with her and it seemed that you could trust her, you hoped that she’d trust you too._

_And then Kuill, now he was sweet. A kind, older Ugnuaght who had served the Empire. He’d done his time. Like you, he was forced to do something he didn’t want to do. The similarity between you two was silently acknowledged, he knew your pain, wanting to fight back but not being able to. He always spoke to you with soft words. You remember his admission with clarity. A day or so after picking him and his Bluurgs up, Mando and Cara were discussing the plan in the cockpit. You were sat in the corner of the hull, entertaining the Child, rolling the chrome ball back and forth along the floor. Kuill strolled up to you, holding your shoulder, bringing your attention from the Child to him._

_“I too know the pain of Capitulation. I served my time, and now I work for no one. My soul is free. You are changed now, your punishment dealt. Make good of your life now it is yours. I have spoken.”_

_You didn’t know what to say but you knew that was exactly what you needed to hear. You’d never had kinder words spoken. It was bittersweet, but a lifeline nonetheless._

“I don’t know exactly how things will turn out so it’s probably best we prepare for anything” he admits, fear hidden in the admission somewhere. “I have asked Kuill to look after the Child along with IG. You’ll come with me and Cara to sort the problem. To finish this.”

Your head turns to the small Ugnaught now standing in the doorway, Cara to his side holding the Child. You nod politely to them, slightly embarrassed at how they were seeing you. The Child coos, his arms outstretched to his Dad. Cara walks into your room to give Mando the child, he coos again, this time more assertive. Cara tries to hand him over to Mando but he’s blubbering louder now, his arms are now outstretched to you. You sit up properly at the realisation. Mando nods to Cara, giving her silent permission to hand the Child to you. They both watch as you and the Child babble, his hand grabbing around your finger.

The connection warms you. He’s telling you through the only way he knows how that he’s ok, and that you should be too. He exudes calmness, soothing your mind to level with his. You smile at him, silently thanking him for his unique comfort. He nods back with a coo, head-turning towards Mando. He looks back at you with a toothy grin, releasing your finger then making grabby gestures to Mando. You smile to yourself as you watch Mando pick up the Child and leave, resting him in his right arm. Mando’s head was tilted towards the Child as if to ask what all the fuss was about. Cara watches them leave then turns to you.

“Hey,” She says calmly, sitting to perch on the side of your bed.

“Hey, I'm sorry if I interrupted you, I didn’t mean to-” She cuts you off.

“Don't apologise, it’s ok, we all have bad dreams sometimes” She sports a small smile, letting you know she understands. You smile back. It’s nice to have another girl on the ship, you feel like you can open up to Cara a bit more than you can with Mando. You maintain the small smile, showing your sincerity. “The kid seems to really like you” She chuckles, showing a couple of teeth. She’s right, you both got along really well. You’d not known the Child for long but you were already smitten, the toothy grin got you every time.

 _“_ Thank you, Cara.” You don’t know what else to say. The simple reply is soft, thanking. You really did appreciate her care.

“Don’t thank me, you’re the one that can make that little womp-rat smile. I’ve tried and he just… anyway. We’re not far out now. You should get ready”

You both exchange a small smile, it's sweet. You know you can trust Cara now.

___

The doors to the weapons locker opened and you couldn’t stop your jaw from dropping in awe. There was enough to form a small army! _Does this guy have a thing for weapons or what?_ He reaches out and grabs a blaster. It’s exquisitely crafted, the mahogany wood polished to within an inch of its life. Once securing it in his belt, he reaches out again, grabbing two leather sheaths. Turning, he hands them to you. You put them on, one of them sits on your right thigh, the other sits just under your binder and rests under your shirt. You look up at him, his visor pinning you in place.

“I took you as a knives person” He deadpans, handing you two combat knives. Yeah, true, he’d read you like a book. You loved close combat, the thrill of it was always your favourite. You hated your past but you did have to admit, you enjoyed the hunt, it felt like fighting was what you were made to do. You drop your gaze to the knives. They’re pleasing to the eye. You’d not seen anything like it, the metal had waves to it, like an ocean. You traced a finger up one end of the blade, the sharpness of them tantalising, “Beskar” he chimes. Goosebumps riddled you like a rash, you couldn’t hide the grin that found your face. You’d not had a nice pair of knives since you were taken, hostage. Looking back up to him you thank him, placing one in the thigh holster and the other in the holster on your chest. You felt more confident now, adrenaline starting to prickle your senses; your body was starting to prepare itself for what was to come.

He reaches in again, grabbing a small belt. It was rough and tatty, this must be an older belt he’d once used, the one he wore now was a lot sturdier and more practical. Turning back to you he hands it over. You hear a slight scraping sound, like metal on metal. Inspecting one of the two pouches attached to it you found it was full of little throwing knives. They weren’t the same material as the daggers he’d just given you, but still sharp nonetheless. The grin feverish once you’d placed the belt around your waist, it hung lower than you’d like but it was still practical. You tested the buckle to see if it’d release quickly, and to your amusement, it did. You look back up at Mando, grin now toothy like the kids. “Thanks, hopefully, I won’t have to use them”

“Don’t lie, we all know you want to,” he said jokingly. _So he finds it funny now?_ His comment makes you glance down. He was right, you were looking forward to it. Guilt floods your cheeks and you blush, now coming to terms with how you’d been acting. You didn’t want them to think you wanted to fight. This mission needed to go as smoothly as possible, for the Kids sake. Now they just think you’re in it for the blood, g _reat._

“I didn’t mean it like that…I…” He stutters on his words, now realising the meaning behind what he said.

“It’s ok, I get it” you mumble back, turning away to get your boots from your room. You don’t notice him turning his head back around, watching as you walk back into your cabin.

___

Trust Cara to be carrying the biggest blaster from the locker. She’s all muscle that girl, and she knew it too. A blaster that size would look stupid if you tried to use it, you’re not even sure you could even lift it. Cara made it look like it was second nature, e _ach to their own._

“Let me do the talking,” says Mando. _Him? Do the talking?_ I _s he having a laugh?_ The guy can barely hold a conversation, and now he thinks he’s some negotiating mastermind. You let it slide though, he is a Mandalorian at the end of the day, the armour does most of the talking for him. “Kuill, are the Bluurgs ready?”

“Yes. Someone will have to walk, I only have three” he says back to Mando, back turned as he’s fixing the final bits of equipment to the Bluurgs.

“I’ll walk,” you say, you’re the odd one out at the end of the day. You want to make a good impression, and you thought that a decent walk wouldn’t do you harm. You’ve not had a chance to properly stretch your legs in too long.

“You sure? It’s a fair way?” Cara asks back, she’s genuine.

“Yeah, I need to stretch my legs, let me lend a favour” you smile back. You really did want them to trust you, and you thought this is the least you can do to show your appreciation for their kindness over the last few days.

“If you get tired then you tell me,” Mando commands. There's no room for if’s or but’s, he means it.

You pull a sneaky grin, the temptation to say it was just too much, you can give in this once, right? You pick your next words very carefully but use the most seductive tone you could. _It's just a bit of fun…_

“Yes _, Sir”_

Cara chokes out a shocked laugh. You turn to her, she’s pulling her eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner. _I'm glad that landed well…_ You laugh back as you both follow Kuill out of the ship to the Bluurgs, her elbow nudging your arm in a jokey way. You both continue giggling, not noticing the now slightly flustered Mandalorian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope u guys enjoy this chapter! the next couple chapters are quite action-driven as they follow the original arc, but I'm a few chapters ahead and let me tell you... is it getting hot in here?;)
> 
> All kudos is much appreciated, wishing you all the best xx


	4. Stamina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The weight of the situation is finally dawning on you. You’re practically handing yourself over to this mysterious ex-imp blood-mongerer with open arms. You haven’t known Karga long and you’re not sure if you can trust him, but if Mando trusts him, then so do you.'
> 
> You didn't sign up for this. The situation is starting to spiral out of hand. Can you all pull together to complete the mission, or will things head in a deadly direction? 
> 
> *this is very original arc so a lot of speech/dialogue is taken from the series... this chapter and the next. I know I say this every time BUT TRUST THE PROCESS!!!! Much love to you all xx

The heat was torturous. You’d been to hot places before but this was excruciating. The black-top Mando gave you was soaking up the heat and you were practically drenched by the time you’d reached the rendezvous. 

Mando had offered to walk but you thought that if you were struggling in a simple black tee and trousers he’d be practically dying in that heavy Beskar and flight suit of his. Plus, despite the heat, this was the first time you’d walked free in over 10 years, so you weren’t going to kick a gift Orback in the mouth. He’d been tense ever since your flirty comment before you left. You only meant it as a joke and a way to break the tension over what lied ahead, but he seemed to have held onto it more than you’d have liked. Maybe you’d crossed a line, but after Cara laughed and Kuill’s exasperated tut you’d thought it had landed well…until a couple of hours later and he’s still just as pent up as before, if not more now that the heat has made him stew a bit. You did try to think of a way to apologise but didn’t want to cause any more trouble, so you did what you thought was right and kept your mouth shut.

___

The rendezvous was just an hour or so out from Navarro, or so that's what Cara had told you. As you approach, you see a small group of men just off in the distance.

“That’s them” Mando nods towards them. You all continue moving until you’re now within talking distance. Cara goes to slide of her Bluurg, followed by Mando. You look to him waiting for his instructions, not wanting to make a wrong move. He nods for you to join him at his side, so you follow suit and stand just off his shoulder behind him, Cara on the other side. Kuill stayed to manage the Bluurgs.

“Sorry for the remote rendezvous, Mando. But things have gotten complicated since you were last here. It appears that introductions are in order.” Who you presumed to be the group leader glanced at you, then at Cara. He had a smug look on his face, and you didn’t like it. The tone of his voice was already ringing alarms, and you could sense that he had hidden intentions… but what they were you didn’t know. “It seems we've both provided a security detail. I recommend the shock-trooper guards the ship, these lava fields are lousy with Jawas.”

“She’s coming with me Karga” Mando retorts, the same dominance in his voice from the Republic Transporter. Cara glared back at Karga, making it known that she wasn’t a pushover. His accomplices shifted on the spot, pulling up their blasters. Karga lowly lifted an arm, signalling for them to stand down.

“Fine, fine. At least cover your tattoo, no need to flaunt it.” He pointed to her arm. Cara grumbled but complied, wrapping a black strip of fabric around her stripes.

“And what about you, sweetheart?” His gaze now on you. His accomplices looked at each other, sharing some sort of private joke. It made you feel a little pissed knowing the nature of their look. You scrambled to think of something to say, but Mando beat you to it.

“Careful” He practically growls at the guards “She’s not as gentle as she looks” _Gentle… was he complimenting you?_ You blush at the comment, a smirk pulling at your lips.

_“_ I'm sure she can hold her own, she looks pleasant enough,” says one of the guards, chuckling towards the end of his sentence. Something dirty was attached to that sentence…they obviously were not heeding Mando’s warning.

“I wouldn-” Mando goes to reply, but you’re already reaching for the throwing daggers he had handed you earlier. Your right-hand grazes the left pouch on your hip, and before anyone had time to react you’d hit a thin shard of metal into the guard's blaster, clipping it from his hand and sending it a few feet behind him. All eyes are now pinned on you. _Crap_. _I should not have done that_ … _Oh well, let’s run with it_.

“Next time I'll aim a bit to the right,” you say cheekily, trying to solidify the fake confidence you’re exuding. The guard glances down, then realises what you’re implying.

“Woah! Ok, let’s calm down…” Karga pauses, looking to the guard who is now visibly agitated at his ego being humiliated.

You can feel Mando’s glare, it’s practically burning you up. You hope he’s not going to turn on you. Normally you have more self-control, but you didn’t want to be undermined in front of him and Cara like that. You were just standing up for yourself…you could do that now. You turn your head to meet his.

“Show off,” he says quietly like it’s meant for just the two of you. _Phew, he wasn’t pissed_. You smile back, the blush visible even past your sunburn cheeks.

“Where is the little one?” The leader cuts you from each other's stare. Mando moves to turn, signalling for Kuill to bring the child forwards in his floating crib. Kuill had reinforced it on the journey from his home to Navarro. It’s now fully armoured.

“So... this little bogwing is what all the fuss was about,” the leader reaches in to take the Child out of his cot “What a precious little creature. I can see why you didn't wanna harm a hair on its wrinkled little head” After looking the Child over and concluding that he wasn’t a vicious man-eating creature he placed the Child back into his floating fortress of a cot “Well, I'm glad this matter will be put to rest once and for all”. He says with a sigh. Obviously, this whole ordeal was stressful for both parties, but you didn’t know enough to draw any conclusions. “The sun drops fast on Navarro. We can walk for a spell and camp out on the river bank, then make our way into town at first light.” Mando agrees with a simple nod. He and Cara walk back to the Bluurgs, Karga and the other two guards turning to start walking. You stay and wait for Mando and the rest to catch up. The guard that had agitated you earlier walks up to you. You stiffen with each step, preparing to defend yourself if needs be. He’s now only a foot or so away from you, within arms reach.

He leans into you, “You're a good shot darlin’, wanna sleep next to me tonight? I’ll pay…” He winks at you, his voice low enough so that only you can hear. He’s obviously just trying to start a fight, to agitate you. You keep your mouth shut, your face bare. You don’t want to give him any reaction to feed off as that would only make him push further. He glances up and quickly turns on his heel, chuckling as he strides back towards Karga. You’re fuming now. You wanted to say something, to make him feel how you feel right now, but you can’t. You’d jeopardise this mission before it's even started… you owe Mando, so you hold your tongue for now.

“Hey, what’d he say to you” comes a modulated voice just behind you. You jump a little, the presence catching you in your little fit of rage. You don’t say anything, not wanting to snap.

“Nothing” You reply bluntly. Your voice nearly broke, but you think you played it off ok. _Wrong._

“What did he say” He insists, using that dominant tone from before to make sure you know that he will find out whether you want to tell him or not. “Tell me,” He asks again, his temper wearing thin.

“He…he asked me to sleep with him, made some stupid remark about buying me for the night. Just leave it” You tell, even more, frustrated now the words have left your lips.

“ _I'm gon-”_ His anger now prevalent in his voice _._ He moved to stride in front of you, obviously about to make amends for what just happened. _No,_ that’ll make everything so much worse, you don’t want to be the reason this all fails, the reason why the kid isn’t safe. You can let this slide, you’re used to it. You grab his arm before he’s out of reach, your grip tight.

“No, just leave it, it’s ok…the mission” You try to sound as appealing as possible. You really didn’t want to cause more of an issue, you’d already made a scene, you didn’t need another one over a petty snide. His head quips to yours, the visor staring you down.

“It’s not okay, he shouldn’t talk to you like that” He turns to move again, but you yank his arm harder this time.

“Mando, please… just leave it.” You’re practically begging him now and he can sense it. He steps back reluctantly, now studying you. Without saying anything he turns and strides back to the Bluurg. You don’t look back, you know that Cara and Kuill had just seen the whole thing unfold and you didn’t want to play 20-questions right now. Dropping your head you let out a sigh. _Breathe in, breathe out._ And with that, you started walking.

___

“I guess the little bugger's a carnivore. Never seen anything like it. They were ready to pay a king's ransom for that thing. Must be for some kind of highfalutin menagerie.” Karga chuckles, wincing a little as the Child makes haste with the bug he’s just caught. Kuill shakes his head and grabs the Child by the back of his robe before he can get away, bringing him back to his lap to continue feeding him his supper.

“Let’s go over the plan again,” Mando says, using his typical commanding tone.

You’re all sat around the fire. You, Mando, Cara, Kuill and the Child on one side, Karga and his crew on the other. The guard that spoke to you earlier keeps glancing at you, trying to catch your eyes with his but you turn your head away every time. You decide after a while its just best if you look away and don’t entertain it at all. Frustrated, you get up to go and have a breather but Cara stops you before you can.

“Hey, look, I don’t know what he said but I can tell that he’s being rude. Just try to ignore it for now… I’m sorry.” She’s talking quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear.

“Yeah, I know… he won’t stop looking at me. I can handle myself. It's just annoying that he’s not dropping it” It's true, it was starting to really annoy you now. The snide you could let slide, but the blatant teasing was just a bit more than excessive.

“Mando caught it, he won’t let them touch you. Just clean one of your knives or something, its make him hap-” She’s cut mid-sentence by a winged creature that swoops in and grabs the drumstick from Karga’s hand. Then before you know it, everyone’s shooting. _Wait, the Kid!_ You dart from your end of the campsite over to where Kuill was. Grabbing the child from the cot you wrap him in your arms. You tuck up against one of the boulders, hoping that whatever was attacking your group wouldn’t see the two of you. The Child started making scared cooing sounds, but you quietly hushed him against your chest, trying to calm him down. Pressing his head into your chest you block his view from the surroundings.

“No! Let go of her! Drop her now!” You hear Kuill shouting and the scream of a Bluurg carried off into the night. You don’t need to look up to know things are grim. Then another scream, this time it sounded human. One of the creatures had taken someone! You look up, only to see the guard that had been taunting you all night disappear from view. _Karma_.

“Drop her!” Thump. You assumed that the blaster shot had hit as two bodies hit the floor, neither moving.

Suddenly you hear a roar of fire. Eyes darting to the source you see Mando fighting off the dragon with the flame-thrower in his gauntlet. _You need one of those_.

Everything goes quiet and you peer up, hoping that the worst is over. Kuill draws your eyes to him. “He's hurt badly.” You look over at the commotion on the other side of the camp.

“I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Ow!” Karga flinches at Cara’s touch.

“Hold still. They got you good” She says, panic just prickling her reply.

“How bad?” Says Mando.

**“** Bad. The poison is spreading fast” Cara replies, looking around her for a med-pack. She grabs the one in the satchel to her left and starts treating Karga’s wounds.

“So this...this is how it happens” Karga retorts, sounding considerably weaker this time.

**“** Don't be so dramatic” Cara curts, “I need another med-pack. Got any other med-pack’s? Anyone?” The camp is silent. You walked over with the kid still in your arms, now leaning over Karga to see if you could do anything whilst Cara looks for another med-pack.

“It’s still spreading, this isn’t working,” you say, not noticing the Childs outstretched arm.

“Get that thing out of here!” Cara shouts at you, obviously meaning the Child.

“Wait,” Kuill interjects, now at your side. You listen to him, allowing the kid to reach out to Karga. Mando hesitates.

“He’s trying to eat me!” Karga moans, it’s strained as his body grows weaker by the second. But then he relaxes, the tension leaving his body. You glance down to the injury, which is now… _what? It can’t be…it’s healing?_ You blink a few times to make sure you’re not seeing things. You dart your eyes to Mando, his to yours. He's just as stuck as you. Eyes now back on the Child, he flops. The wound completely healed, Karga saved. You hug the Child. He’s so brave, so so brave. You’re proud of him, in a weird parent-y way. A heavy sigh leaves his mouth as he falls into a comfortable sleep.

______

Cara turns to you, trying to keep out of earshot of Mando. “You think they’re having second thoughts?” She asks. You don’t know why she’s asking you, but you think of a reply anyway. You’d noticed since last night that Karga’s energy has changed… he’s acting differently. Those sinister feelings have now gone; he’s just tense, but not in a way that you feel threatened. It’s odd…

“They could be… but I think Karga has something planned. I need your eyes” you whisper back, you’re glad to have Cara trusting you now.

“I'm watching” She nudges your arm, bringing your attention to her. She smiles, gives a slight nod and then steps back to where she was originally walking.

___

You’d been walking for a good 40 minutes now, the sun just starting to burn your cheeks again. You’re dazed from the heat, but you don’t miss the two guards who are now walking a little too close to the back of the group. You keep on your toes, honing in your focus so you can read their energies. Somethings off… You feel it as it happens. One of the bounties blasters safety button clicks and you’re already turning, grabbing the knife from your thigh and planting it into his neck. The other drops just as you’re turning to throw the knife. You turn, smoke sizzled from the other guard's chest. That wasn’t Mando or Cara… so it must’ve been -

Karga.

Mando’s eyes are trained on you. You hope he’s not pissed for acting out of order, even considering you’d just stopped an ambush.

“There's something you should know” _bit late to leave it now!_ “The plan was to kill you and take the kid. But after what happened last night I couldn't go through with it” You shift back round, fingers flexing over the grip of the combat knife Mando had given you, holding it in a way you can launch it if Karga tries anything. Mando had broken his gaze from you and Cara had her blaster drawn on Karga now, he’s outnumbered. “Go on, you can gun me down here and now, and it wouldn't violate the Code. But if you do, this child will never be safe”

Cara jerks, “We'll take our chances!”

“The Imperial client is obsessed with obtaining this asset. You tried to run, but where did it get you?” Karga pleads to all of you.

**“** This is ridiculous!” Cara snides, turning to you, eyes hinting for you to back her up.

“Perhaps you should let him speak,” Kuill says calmly, like always.

**“** Listen. We both need the client to be eliminated. Let me take the Child to him, and then you two—“ Karga’s cut off by Mando.

“No.” Deadly. Mando’s not budging

“Let's just kill him and get outta here!” Your eyes dart to Cara in exasperation. You recognise that this could get very easily out of hand, Cara’s finger twitches on the trigger.

“That’s not going to fix anything,” you say, taking in the situation. Your head is working at a million lightyears an hour, calculating all the different possibilities and weighing everything up. “He’s right-”

Cara cuts you off “ _what_ are you doing?” By the tone of her voice, she almost sounds betrayed.

“As long as the Kids hunters are about he’ll send people after him, he’s persistent, you know this” your plea directed at both Mando and Cara.

**“** It's a trap! Are you having a laugh?” She’s practically reeling now. 

“Bring me” Mando interrupts. You know where he’s going with this.

“Bring you?” Karga sounds surprised. Did Karga just think we’d hand the child over just like that? _Over my dead body._

“Tell him you captured me. Get me close to him, and I'll kill him” Mando offers. You glance at him. The plan now starting to click silently into place between the both of you, communicating on a telepathic level through just one another's gaze.

**“** That's a good idea. Gimme your blaster and your knife” Karga says, walking over to Mando and you. He’s caught onto what you and Mando are getting at.

**"** This is insane!” She’s growling at you now, she can’t believe what’s happening.

“It's the only way,” Mando says. It’s the sad truth, this was the only way we’d get remotely close enough to have even a chance.

**“** Well, I'm coming with you too” She drops the blaster, reaching around to place it behind her back. Cara’s not leaving the both of you, and secretly you know you’ll need help.

**“** No, no…no” Karga drifts for a second in thought, “That would make them suspicious”

“Tell them she caught us, that way she comes with us and the kid goes back to the ship with Kuill” You reason, this being the safest plan of action you can think of. Your tactical training from your previous life coming into play now.

**"** But without the Child, none of this works?” Karga questions, and before anyone can try conjuring a different plan, you explain.

“Kuill” You turn to him, his eyes now on you “Ride back to the Ship with the Child and seal yourself inside, engage all the security controls. That should hold up while we're gone.” He nods and starts moving away to begin his new mission. He chucks Mando a comlink. “If we close the lid on his pod they won’t be able to tell the Kid isn’t there. If we can make it into the meeting room without raising suspicion, we might have a-,“ you pause, stopping yourself from speaking your anxieties out loud, “we will have a chance.” You try to sell your confidence to the group and it seems to work.

“I will keep the child safe.” Kuill nods at Mando, who has stayed suspiciously quiet. He then turns to Cara, “Don't forget to cover your stripes”

“Let's go” you nod to Karga. He reaches behind him and grabs a set of cuffs whilst you grab some from the now cold body behind you. When you started today you definitely did not picture both you and Mando ending up in handcuffs.

You begin walking towards the town in the distance.

The weight of the situation is finally dawning on you. You’re practically handing yourself over to this mysterious ex-imp blood-mongerer with open arms. You haven’t known Karga long and you’re not sure if you can trust him, but if Mando trusts him, then so do you. You start to run through possible outcomes. Do you shoot the guy if he gets out of hand? How do you know if Mando wants you to stay quiet or interject? You know that he’s confident in himself, but you also know how quickly things can turn. The last thing you want is to end up in a firefight completely outnumbered, facing ex-imp forces. The fact that they were meant to be wiped out but are still working behind the scenes is enough to arouse any suspicion, so you can’t take anything for granted. Who knows where this could go…

After about 10 minutes or so, a whispered vocoded voice breaks your focus, “Hey…” he’s looking at you, but you don’t turn to look, focusing your glare forwards “I had that covered back there…”

You smirk a little. _He so did not have it covered back there._ He hadn’t even moved to grab his blaster by the time the guard was dropping to the floor.

“Yeah, sure looked like it” You add a little sprinkling of sarcasm to this. Surely he’s not that egotistical.

“I'm joking,” You catch a hiccup of a laugh on the end of his breath, this brings your attention to him, “Thank-you,” You furrow your brow at his admission… is this the right Mando? A blush threatens to pepper your cheeks so you look down at the floor, “You were good back there, any more fancy tricks you want to tell me about?” It almost sounds flirty, but you brush it off.

“Wheres the fun in that?” You replied back in a playful way, turning your head towards him at the end of the sentence. Your eyes met his heavy gaze, marked by the smug smirk crowning your lips.

And for the first time, you hear a proper laugh. It’s sweet, like honey, and it warms your nervous chest, pulling a genuine smile from you. You liked the sound of his laugh, even through the metal filter. Maybe he did have a heart after all. You giggle back, nudging his arm with your elbow almost like a cheeky punch. He returns your contact with his, and the two of you laugh together. You knew then that you’d cherish this moment forever, it was golden, rich in flavour. But what made it all that much sweeter was the fact that it was finally _your moment_.

____

The walkthrough town had brought you back into your focus. You knew this was going to be hard but talk about the understatement of the century… you’d counted 32 stormtroopers and not even entered the building. Even Mando’s nerves were beginning to show by the time you were sat at the client's table. The older man, who you presumed was the client made some snide remark about Beskar and its craftsmanship, but you didn’t take much notice into what he was saying. You were busy eyeing up the troopers and thinking of an escape plan. Karga had your knife, but only the one on your thigh, you still had the other one that was strapped beneath your binder and the two pouches of throwing knives too. _You could do it, you could take him out right now._ But you hesitated, Mando hadn’t given you the go-ahead. _Why? Now’s the time… we’re wasting time!_ To your left the old man now stood hunched over a table, his head focused on the Holo-Computer.You notice Mando had squeezed out of his cuffs underneath the table. You began to do the same but the next words stopped you in your tracks. A name you never wanted to hear…

“Yes, Moff Gideon”

How… you thought he was _dead_? He was wanted for war crimes? The Republic told you he’d been dealt with on one of your old missions, but you never saw the body so you assumed someone else had got him. _Obviously not._

“Yes, they have. It’s currently sleeping” Chides the old man. He didn’t know how wrong he was.

“You may want to check again.” Comes the secondary voice, and you feel it, the similar buzz of pre-emption that has saved your skin more times than you can count. Grabbing Mando’s hand you slide out of the table to the right, pulling him with you, slipping the cuffs off of your right hand in the process. Blaster shots ring the room and the old man drops.

Mando’s now on top of you, his hands either side of your head, his helm only centimetres away from you. You freeze in the moment. His heat was suffocating, but you didn’t mind. You felt comfortable, safe… _odd. “_ Now isn’t the time for romantics, c’mon, get up!” Cara shouts before you can think any further. You both roll opposite ways, working in conjunction with one another. Looking up you spot two troopers bringing their blasters up to fire at you. You’d experienced this scenario more times than you could count. 2 versus 1… you liked these odds. You grinned, _time for the fun to begin_.

You pulled the Beskar combat knife from your chest, bringing it into a reverse grip. Lurching forwards you closed the distance between your targets. You knew that if you got close enough they wouldn’t shoot. You swung your right arm up then down across the left troopers closest forearm. They dropped to their knees in pain as crimson red stained their white armour. Turning quickly you dodged the others fist, shoulder dipping to the right, bringing you to face their back. You plunged the knife right into the exposed skin on the nape of their neck. The other trooper went to pull your legs but you kicked his damaged forearm to the ground, now placing your weight onto it.The first soldier screamed as the helmet of the other soldier you’d just swiftly dealt with dropped to meet his gaze, the shock short-lived as you finished the job. Sensing another blaster moving in your direction, you dropped onto your back. The shot fired, slipping through the air where your chest had just been. Swinging your legs up, you pulled two throwing knives from the punches on your hips. Pushing off with your hands at your head, you launch back up, using the momentum to catapult the throwing knives forward and bring you up into a crouching stance; the two other troopers on the opposite end of the room dropping with a thud. _Yeah, I still got it_.

Mando’s back was to you, and once he’d realised what happened he turned his head. He wasn’t even given a chance to fight, you’d already dealt with the situation.

“How did you-… wha…” He stuttered, completely dumbstruck with what just happened. He knew you were good, but not _that good_.

“I liked the odds,” You said, shoulders shrugging. You turned to Karga who was braced against a wall. You gestured to your knife that shook precariously in his hand, his gaze on you dumbfounded. You moved your arm up and encouraged him to chuck it to you. He didn’t hesitate to do what you asked and you caught it with your left hand. Reaching down you retrieved the other knife from the troopers neck, wiping the blood off of the blade and onto the body of the trooper. Suddenly realising what exactly was going on, Mando grabbed the comlink, his platonic gaze leaving you as you made haste for cover.

“Are you back to the ship yet?” He shouted to Kuill, not even attempting to hide the panic in his voice. He’d realised how much the situation had escalated.

**“** Not yet” Kuill replied, the comlink crackling due to the distance. He really needed to hurry, every second counted.

**“** Get back to the ship and bail! Get the kid out of here. We're pinned down!” And he closed the line. Kuill got the picture, you hoped.

“You have something I want.” Comes Gideon’s voice. You’d recognise it from anywhere.

“Who is this guy?” Cara eyes you, she wants answers, now.

**“** You may think you have some idea of what you are in possession of. But you do not.” _Oh he always was one for dramatics_. “In a few moments, it will be mine” Cara’s staring at you now, searching your eyes for answers, but you don’t have any answers. You thought that he was dead 5 minutes ago, your world’s been turned upside down too. “It means more to me than you will ever know” _Yeah sure, bring it on._

“Try the sewers” Mando huffed, “the Mandalorian’s have a covert down in the sewers. If we can get down there, they can help us escape” He pauses for a second, turning his head slowly. It looks like he’s scanning for something. “Right, there, the vent!” He points to the far right corner of the room. Karga and Mando run over, you join Cara on the opposite pillar to the cantina, the window now to your left.

Cara nods her head towards the window, “They’re setting up an E-Web…” You automatically shrink a little, knowing the destruction that you’re yet to face. _That's not good. Not good at all._

“Ugh, Mando… think you can hurry up on that vent?” You shout to him, your eyes staying fixed on the E-Web and white sea of troopers outside.

“What do you think I’m doing!” He shouts back, obviously displeased at your distasteful trope.

“Look, I know that you probably take pride in your stamina but now really isn’t the time!” You joke, trying to bring the mood up a little. You’d always joked in your head when things didn’t go to plan, it was a way for you to cope; sometimes making crude jokes to yourself would even help you focus. Might as well have a bit of fun. You’re not so confident that you’re gonna get out of this anymore. Unfortunately, the joke fell short.

“ _Oh_ ” You hear a slight modulated chuckle, “When we get out of here I swear to the maker _I’m gonna make you regret that_ ” The irritation is overt. But some sick part of you took that completely wrong way, and now you want to know what exactly he’d do. The motivation to get out of here is now a little stronger. You’re cut from your inappropriate thought by Gideon.

“Your astute panic suggests that you understand your situation. I would prefer to avoid any further violence and encourage a moment of consideration. Members of my escort have completed assembly of an E-Web heavy repeating blaster.”

You roll your eyes to Cara, _cut to the chase_ , although your internal humour is cut short, “If you are unfamiliar with this weapon, I am sure that Republican Shock Trooper Carasynthia Dune of Alderaan will advise you that she has witnessed many of her ranks vaporised mid-descent facing the predecessor of this particular model” _Oh no, this isn’t good, this isn’t good at all._

_“_ Or perhaps the decommissioned Mandalorian hunter, **Din Djarin** , has heard the songs of the Siege of Mandalore…” _Din Djarin, is that…oh no_ “…when gunships outfitted with similar ordnance laid waste to fields of Mandalorian recruits in The Night of a Thousand Tears. I advise disgraced Magistrate Greef Karga to search the wisdom of his years and urge you to lay down your arms and come outside.”

_This couldn’t get any worse. Din…_ it even felt wrong thinking his name, let alone knowing it. It was forbidden, and his rights, his religion, his creed had just been publicly disrespected by Gideon. The damage was irreparable. _Oh, it’s on, I'm—_ your mental monologue is interrupted. 

“Oh, don’t think I didn’t notice you, sweetheart.” He says your name, “Can’t forget you can I? The Master Assassin that went rogue, who murdered a republican official in cold blood. A coveted war hero. Oh no,” you hear a dramatic chuckle, “you're the best of this bunch! It’s a shame really, I always regretted destroying that switch, we could’ve used your…expertise”

_So it was him. All this time, he’d been the one that did this to you, caused you this pain, suffering. But for what?_

You looked up at Cara, who’s eyes were wide. She knew there wasn’t much hope now. He’s got the high ground. Turning further, Din caught your attention. His T visor was glaring you down from across the room. His body was slack. You knew why you could feel it. You wanted to apologise to him, do anything you could to take that pain away. You knew it was sacred. Tears pricked your eyes. All this information was too much. This _couldn’t_ be happening.

“The structure you are trapped in will be razed in short order and your storied lives will come to an unceremonious end.”

Karga bartered with Gideon, trying to find time whilst Mando returns to the sewer situation.

“Who is he?” Cara asked you, her voice shaky with dwindling control.

“It’s Moff Gideon.” Mando cuts you before you can reply, “I know who he is. I wasn’t born on Mandalore, I was found as a Child. They raised me as a foundling in the Fighting Corps. I was treated as one of their own. When I came of age, I was sworn to the Creed. The only record of my family name was in the registers of Mandalore. Moff Gideon was an ISB Officer during the purge. That's how I know it's him.”

You try to cut the information from your head, not wanting to invade anymore into his life. Enough had been revealed today, you weren’t going to take it from him unless he really wanted you to know.

Then, you think you’re hearing things. The sound of blaster fire, but it wasn’t shooting at any of you…

“Look!” Cara shouts, and like the shining knight in the armour he is, IG speeds around the corner, taking out swathes of troopers with his grand entrance.

“Cover me!” Mando shouts to you. The order kicks a switch in you and you’re doing as you’re told without hesitation. You push through the door, instantly dealing with the trooper directly in-front of you with a metal shard. Mando takes out the guard who had been hiding on the corner block to the building. _How’d you miss them? No stupid mistakes_. You turned to Mando, nodding as you smirked, “Thanks.”

“Guess I’m not completely useless then.” He jokes before running to the left. Now you’re confused, this man was completely unpredictable. He jumped up behind the E-Web cannon as IG took out more troopers, and all you could do was watch in awe as this incredible force of nature did what he did best. The smile that had grown on your face was short-lived as you saw a trooper aiming for his back. Jumping into action you started working alongside him, like a team. In those moments it felt like you’d always worked together, you knew what the other was going to do before they did it, you’d clicked. Out of all the times you could admit to harbouring feelings towards someone, you chose this moment to acknowledge the man next to you. And the moment couldn’t have been better.

You work with a familiar fluidity, your body on autopilot as you take out troopers one by one. Mando took the further ones down with the machine gun whilst you dealt with those at close range using the throwing daggers he’d given to you, not missing a single target. Open combat like this was never something you wanted to do; you liked working alone in the shadows and avoiding mass direct confrontation at all costs, but if this is what it was like to work as a team with someone, to watch your back while you watched theirs, then by god had you been missing out on the fun.

Like a train, the all-too-familiar feeling hits you. Somethings about to happen, you can sense it. Turning a 180, your back to Mando’s, you see Gideon aiming his blaster. Without thinking you launch two shards at him. With the flick of his wrist one flies away, the other scraping his shoulder. The injury just enough to avert his aim slightly, the blaster shot pinging off of the corner of Mando’s pauldron. But he’s not done. You run forward, sliding to the floor to avoid the blaster which was now trained on you. Grabbing two more blades you catapult them towards Gideon, but he just waves them away. His eyes avert from yours, now fixed on a box just off from Mando’s location. On the ground, you turn, following his line of sight. And then you realise. It’s too late. Mando’s sent flying, the explosion from the E-Web power box knocking him against the wall of the cantina just under the window. You scream, scrambling to get up but Gideon has you by the neck in a force choke. You can only watch as Cara drags Mando back inside, glad that he’s now out of Gideon’s reach.

“Oh, simple mistakes. You should know not to turn your back on your opponent,” Gideon chides, laughing as he admired his handiwork. You were dangling about half a foot off the ground, struggling for air. You still had free movement of your limbs and your hands went up to your neck in an attempt to release the pressure, now beginning to shake with bubbling anxiety. Your efforts were in vain.

“I had great pleasure in working with you on our little project. You were my number one to bet on. Your hard work bought me this,” you heard a slight ruffling coming from behind, but didn’t see the black hilt he held in his free hand, “If only you were more compliant we wouldn’t have had to dispose of you. Shame really, _such a waste_.” His words ripped into you. The manipulation, the torture, the pain, all now coming out in this one moment. It was overwhelming. You’ve never felt emotion so strongly in your life and you hated that it was because of him, because he was _controlling you_. This was it. Everything you’d done, and it ended like this.

No.

You relaxed, taking a steady breath. _Close your eyes, breathe. In, out, in out_.

_Now_ _._

And with a swift twist, you’d brought your right hand down under your lifted left leg, firing the dagger you’d discreetly hidden up your sleeve from earlier through your legs. You didn’t miss. The pressure around your neck dropped. Choking you turned your head back, trying to hold the composure you still had left. Gideon’s wild stare returned yours, but this time around his eyes were the ones swimming in fear. You controlled him now. He was on his back clutching his stomach just to the right, the blood hidden by his dark uniform. Looking away you pushed yourself up. Slightly dizzy at the blood rushing back to your head you blinked aggressively, but your thoughts became clear as day. You unsheathed both knives. Gideon struggled backwards in the dirt but was slowly pinned down by you as you straddled him, one knee to the floor and the other at a right angle. You leant over. You weren’t shaking now, you were calm, yet furious. You brought them to a crisscrossed conjunction at his neck.

Your eyes met his.

_Do it. Give in. Feed the temptation._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, Uni started back up this week and I've just been so unmotivated to do anything but sleep. Hope yall are ok and enjoy this chapter xx
> 
> p.s - the next chapter brings some norrrrrtyyyy


	5. Abandoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'One stepped forwards, placing a hand on your back. You flinched at the touch, knowing that it was only going to hurt. They used their fingers to slowly stretch one of the slashes open where it had started to heal. This forced a silent cry from you. '
> 
> Things have taken a turn for the worst... will you be able to survive the torment?
> 
> TW - explicit violence (descriptive) and hints of sexual assault, death/suicide 
> 
> *contains descriptive scenes of violence

You stepped away, eyes still trained on his. No, you’re not going to fall into his trap. You controlled your life now. _You._ Killing him would only send you back. You know better than this, _you are better than this._

“I won’t hesitate next time. Leave the Child and I’ll leave you” You’d never been more serious in your life. The grit in your voice cut through each syllable. Every cell in your body was on fire, burning with illicit rage. To an onlooker, they’d think you were calm and composed, but they only had to look into your eyes to know. You were dangerously close to the tipping point, the last tether of your humility balancing on a knife’s edge.

He only grimaced at the wound. You’d thrown the dagger with such force it had completely sunk within him, he wouldn’t be able to pull it out to relieve the pain. Good, you wanted him to feel pain for once. No longer was he the ‘powerful’ man he thought he was only seconds ago. Now he just sat there, like a coward, whimpering in his own pain.

You turned away, re-sheathing the knives as you made your way back to the cantina. You can’t hold the stare any more. If you stayed any longer you were afraid that your tether would snap, and you didn’t want to pay the consequences, not now that you had something, _someone_ to live for.

“I should have used you like the worthless slut you are.”

The words stop you in your tracks. _Did he really just say that?_ You choke a little on the thought, it was now burning your throat with the vomit that had slid it’s way up from your gut. _How dare he?_ You’d suffered your whole life, always working for someone else and never yourself. You’d been made to do things you really did want to do, taken advantage of in ways you could never get back. Everything you did was under someone else’s wish; you’d never had the freedom to make your own decisions. _Well, that was to change._

You were now seething with the want to make him feel the pain you’ve felt, to at least understand, even just momentarily how the torment blisters your soul every time you close your eyes; how you never find relief from who they have made you to be. Turning back around he soon realised he’d fucked up. This had gotten out of hand, your body was acting autonomously now, the fire in your mind driving you without hesitation. You took out the knife from your thigh, swinging it in a playful manner, coaxing the grin onto your face. You wanted him to know you were going to enjoy what you were about to do to him, just like how he had with you, using you for fighting and more. He began shuffling backwards again but didn’t make it far. You grabbed him by the neck, using the hem of the fabric under his armour to pin him to the ground. You’re leaning over him now, legs either side of him. You look to his neck, using your fiery gaze to pinpoint where you position the tip of your blade, and then you slowly, meticulously begin to dig in; just enough to pierce the skin. You look into his eyes, you want to see the fear on his face, to feed off of the terror that played out in front of him, to use his torment to soothe yours.

“I want you to remember this moment,” You begin moving the knife at an antagonising pace along his neck, making sure to go a few layers in, but not enough to kill, “I want you to remember that the worthless slut held you like the decrepit arsehole you are,” this is your moment to speak. For once, you’re in control of this situation, and honestly, it's overpowering, the freedom and inexperience to manage your own feelings is choking you. Your malleable state was being overtaken, infested with your deepest, darkest _temptations_. He’s screaming now, but you can’t hear it. Your frenzied fury was deafening to you, it had twisted you into a violent creature. All sense of morality was extinguished now, he’d cut that tightrope you’d fought for so long to dance along and now you were falling into the dark canyon below.

“I want you to remember that the worthless slut _pitied you_.”

You’d slowly drawn a smart line across his neck, the blood poured out like lava from a volcano, the heat burning your knuckles as it stained the fabric around your wrist. You didn’t kill him, _no_ , that would be a waste of time and emotion; you’d inflicted a physical pain that would soothe your violent itch instantly, but the knowledge that he’d have this scar brandishing his neck for the rest of his life, reminding him of your pity, that’s what would soothe your soul.

You stood back up, throwing him to the ground. He now lied clutching his neck, the gasps for breath muffled by your own blood rushing through your ears, your mind. It was sickly, simply vindictive, but truthfully it had made you feel better, calmed you. To know that _you_ had done that stifled the onset of your anxiety, your realisation. He wasn’t going to die, you knew he’d find some way of coming back. You couldn’t kill him, but you sure as hell could make him _want to die._

Time had slipped through your fingers. You were still staring. Watching the man struggle and shake in front of you. You almost didn’t care what happened to you now. The adrenaline was wearing off and the gravity of what you had done was sinking in. The sickly taste from earlier was threatening your throat again, but you managed to hold it down.

Suddenly something gripped you by your ankles. It wasn’t Gideon, you were still staring at his weak body on the floor. Before you had time to react, you were pulled to the ground. Two hands pushed down on your shoulders. You moved your hands to either side of your head to push up but you found something else was weighing you down at your hips. Then more hands were on you. They pulled your wrists away and now you were completely restrained on your front, the rough dirt and small stones digging uncomfortably into your bruised skin. You were struggling frantically now, but your mind was still disconnected. Maybe you were in shock, you reasoned, but you didn’t have time for emotions now, you had to get back to _Din._ The thought of him flying across to the cantina burned your eyes. You’d forgotten about him. He needed your help and you weren’t there, you were too busy being a vindictive animal to care for your own people, those that needed you. And that’s when you supposed that everything that was happening now was your fault. You chose this path, you let your feelings get the best of you, and like last time, you’re now a prisoner, slave, soon to be someone else’s toy.

Four stormtroopers lifted you up. Your hair had come loose and was now ruffled, rough with the dry dirt you’d just been restrained in. You pulled a few times to try and gain some control but your struggle was cut short by a firm punch into your ribs, completely knocking the air out of your lungs and causing you to choke. Your vision began to go spotty and grey with each punch. Until it went black.

____

You awoke to being on the floor, kneeling, with your wrists held around a post. Your back was burning from the sun, someone had taken your top layer off and you were just in your trousers and bandeau, back bare. It didn’t take long to realise you were still in the square where you had been fighting, except this time there was no gunfire, just a swarm of troopers filtering into the cantina.

_No, that’s where the others where….Where Din and the Child were!_

Before you could even attempt to help, a hot stinging slashed across your back. You screamed out, crying at the pain. This was pain that you hadn’t felt before, you didn’t recognise it; this was rich. It burned terribly, but it wasn’t dull like a hot iron, instead, it was sharp and volatile. You still didn’t have complete sense back, but you could still manage to make out a tinny-metal sound buzzing from behind you. It slashed again, causing you to cry out loudly. You couldn’t hold back the screams. You could feel the blood running out and down your back, the slick trails of crimson drops tapping the dirt like a clock, acting as a countdown to your imminent death. The next one was the worst though, it wasn’t a slash like before, but a slow, meticulous pain, like someone was dragging the painful weapon across your back just to make a point. Your eyes closed now, you couldn’t stand this pain. You tried to scream but nothing came out. Just empty, strained breathing. This was too much. The emotion from earlier had drained you of adrenaline, you were now just an empty shell with overbearing emotions. You couldn’t block this pain out, they were practically drawing it from you with each layer of skin they broke.

A croaky, pained voice whispered from behind you. “ I want you to remember this moment,” and you instantly knew who it was. You pity yourself now, you should’ve just killed the man and lived with the guilt, it would’ve been less painful than this. He’d used your words against you, the words you wanted to be yours. But everything that was ever yours wasn’t truly, it’d away been taken or used against you at some point, and you realised you should’ve known better than to think you had control of your life, even at that moment. It was a _stupid mistake_. The reality of it all began to make you shake, and now your cheeks were stained with your tears, slightly cooling the few bruises that you’d collected on your face whilst you’d been blacked out. This was just unbearable. You couldn’t fight this anymore, you couldn’t fight yourself, and so you gave in.

There's nothing left to fight for.

You didn’t notice Gideon leave in his TIE fighter, and you didn’t hear the stormtrooper tell him that Din and the others had made it out of the lava flats on the other side of town. You were too heavy in grieving, not only for your loss but for who you thought were your friends. You knew they couldn’t have made it out there alive, and if they did they wouldn’t come back to you. Even if you hoped, you knew that holding onto hope was dangerous. _You weren’t anything to them_. You’d done what they needed you to do, you were _disposable._ You’d been hurt enough today, you couldn’t handle the thought of them leaving you behind. But then again, you couldn’t blame them, if it meant the Child was safe, you’d sacrifice yourself over and over again just for him.

“Cmon, get up” you heard from behind you. You didn’t have the strength to argue back. You slowly got up. Time had blurred and your vision greyed. Your back was burning from the heat and your injuries, and your muscles twitched and ached with each movement. Turning around you saw about 30 odd troopers occupying the square. They were mostly running, collecting equipment and placing it back onto transport trucks. You overheard a conversation just behind you, “We’re going back to Base, Gideon has,-“ and then they stop. They’d noticed you’d turned your head to try to listen better. Something metal clashed with the back of your head and the world went once more into darkness.

____

You didn’t expect Din and the others to come and find you, well, that’s if they were still alive. And they didn’t. You’d been left behind. You had judged your relationship wrongly, thinking you had made a friend…but no. You’d heard the Razor Crest fly away, the familiar drone of the engines. You’d hoped that it was your imagination, just a stupid way of your brain trying to give you hope. But deep down you wanted it to be wrong, you didn’t want to know they’d forgotten about you. But, they had, and it hurt.

You had been kept in a cell for the last week or so, at least that’s what you thought anyway. You’d lost track of time. There was no outside light to charter with, and in all honesty, you didn’t care anymore. You knew you didn’t have a life anymore. All that you were to know was the four cold walls that the remnants of your sanity were trapped in, caged like the animal you knew you were. They’d reinforced this mentality with their treatment of you. You assumed you were under the ‘care’ of the empire, as troopers in white would come in once a day to interrogate you. They’d ask you questions about the Child and the Mandalorian, but you didn’t know much. Nothing that was useful to them anyway. And so, shortly there wasn’t much interrogating and quickly the sessions turned into straight violence. You were strictly a punching bag to them. Maybe it was some sort of torture Gideon had instructed them to use just to get his own back, but you’d given up the moment you know they weren’t coming back for you, and so every day you just let them use you.

_____

Your body felt foreign now. You’d begun to eat less and less, the guilt and pain of your feelings were turning you inside out, and almost in a way to feel something other than hurt, you’d starved yourself. The feeling of hunger helped for a while, distracting you from your thoughts, but you’d realised it only made the beatings hurt more. They were getting to the bone now, you knew these were injuries that would stay with you forever. The slashes on your back were allowed to heal, only to then be re-opened by another cruel instrument. They’d edge it further each time, and you knew it was Gideon making sure he’d mark you for life as you had him. The sickly thought of what you looked like wasn’t something you could bare now. It didn’t take them long to strip you back into the person you were before Mando had saved you. Before you went ‘Rogue’. It was like a vicious cycle. You had no choice but to accept it.

____

It had been 4 weeks, or that’s what you thought at least. You presumed that they’d beat you once a day, and so you were using that as a counting frequency. There was little left of you now.

You knew that it was coming close to the next session, it was imminent. And almost like they could hear your thoughts, the door slammed open, and the two troopers you’d come to know walked in.

They picked you up from the corner, you didn’t bother fighting back now as that only lost you energy, the energy you needed to maintain your consciousness during these difficult moments. They placed you in the chair, your chest pressed against the back of it as you sat the wrong way round, straddling the seat. You knew by this what they were going to do to you, and it was the worst. You let out a sigh as they undid the cuffs from your back, only to attach them to one of the poles which made up the back of the chair. You’re leaned over. They slash a knife through the shirt ripping it open so that you back was bare, your wounds still stinging from the last bout of cruelty.

One stepped forwards, placing a hand on your back. You flinched at the touch, knowing that it was only going to hurt. They used their fingers to slowly stretch one of the slashes open where it had started to heal. This forced a silent cry from you. You’d learnt not to make any noise as that would only make them push harder like they got joy out of it. The other trooper came to stand in front of you. You’d closed your eyes at their movement, you didn’t want them to see you were in pain. He lifted your chin up, forcing your face to look at his waist. The first trooper had stopped touching your back, and instead replaced his presence with a sharp, but saw-toothed blade. They were obviously pissed today.

“Open your eyes.” The trooper in front of you instructed. You objected.

“Open,” he slapped your face with his free hand, forcing your eyes open with the shock, “your fucking eyes!”. You stared up at him. The tears were flowing now. You hoped this wasn’t leading where you thought it was. They’d never gone that far, but you wouldn’t put it past them.

“Good, we’ve been given explicit permission to do what we want with you today,” he growled. His words were laced with anticipation, the anticipation you didn’t want. You shook your head, eyes closing again, trying to hold back how hurt and scared you were. The knife dragged deeper into one of the original slashes on your back. It made you want to vomit.

Another hit, this time a punch. Before you could reel away he’d grabbed your head in his hand, wrapping his fingers around the bottom of your chin and forcing your mouth open. Your eyes stayed tightly shut, you were trying your best not to be in this situation, to be anywhere else but here.

“I won’t give you another warning,” The one in front said. The blade the other was holding sunk further into your back, forcing a pained scream from you, unclenching your eyes at the shock. It was deeper than ever before now and almost felt like it was in your lungs like you were breathing the knife in. They didn’t remove the knife, it stayed sunk within you.

You’re gasping for air now, the anxiety was clutching your throat.

The trooper in front of you moved his hand to his waist, and your worst fears were coming true right in front of your eyes. The way he was gesturing terrified you, and at this moment you wished that they’d plunged that knife too far, out of mercy.

Before he could completely finish undoing his trousers, the room sunk into darkness, then a few seconds later the red emergency lights came on, the alarm blaring. The trooper in front of you stopped momentarily, the hand at his groin still gripping himself.

“We have to go, it’s a reactor meltdown, we have 10 minutes” the trooper from behind grunted, and like that they were out of the room, leaving you strapped to the chair, back bare, knife still planted into your back.

_A reactor meltdown?_ Maybe it was a false alarm, you hoped so anyway because a couple of minutes had passed and no one had come to collect you. You thought about trying to escape, but you had no energy left, and that’s when you realised the knife they’d sunk into you had hit an artery or something, as when you looked down the floor was being washed with your blood. That explained the lightheadedness.

And this is where you understood, this is it. This is truly how you go out. You wanted to go peacefully, and you supposed the Maker had granted you this wish by allowing you to sleep, to choose this moment to die. You were so weak now, the blood loss, the heartbreak. You had nothing left. You allowed yourself to picture Mando and the Child being safe, flying through the galaxy at light-speed, finding a new home, their home. The thought was smooth and warming. You’d blocked all thoughts of the Mandalorian out of your head, trying to prevent any more hurt, but you could revel at his presence in your heart now. You had nothing to fear, you were happy now. It was finally over.You never thought you’d be happy to die but this, this you welcomed with open arms. At that realisation you relaxed, knowing that there wasn’t to be any more pain, any more heartbreak, and you closed your eyes, waiting for the final sleep to hit you.

Until it didn’t.

Your hands flopped to the floor, the weight of the cuffs holding you being released. _That's odd…_ then your head was tilted up. You didn’t have enough energy to open our eyes, but the touch felt leathery, warm. Your head shook violently, but that wasn’t by you, the person touching you was shaking your head, trying to wake you. You wanted to open your eyes but you couldn’t, the sheer exhaustion locked your mind inside your body, separating the two. They pulled you into something, what felt like a neck or shoulder and held you for a moment. You could feel their breathing, and a faint cry or plea, like they were saying sorry for something. A hand wrapped around you, grabbing you by the back of your head, securing you in place so you couldn’t struggle, the other hand reaching around your back. And that’s what woke you up, the intense rip of pain in your back. It felt like something had been pulled from you, deep within; forcing a heavy, pained sob to crawl from your throat. You coughed a couple of times, the taste was coppery and warm, like blood.

You were now being picked up, and it felt like you were floating. You didn’t imaging dying to feel like this, you thought it’d be a smoother transition if you were honest.

Time was now only a distant complex to you, the sounds from the outside world were dimming into a steady hum. The rock of footsteps mirrored the thump of your heartbeat, but now they were working away from each-other, the steps quickening and your heartbeat slowing. And then the footsteps stopped… and you really did feel like you were floating, almost flying maybe? _Ok, this whole dying thing was really odd now… am I actually dead?_ The thought confused you, but with each moment you felt more and more relaxed. You felt a wave of thankfulness for some reason, mercy to who or whatever was granting you this passing. So you mustered the last of your energy to make your voice heard.

“I don’t deserve this, thank-you.” It was a whisper. True and honest. You knew you didn’t deserve to go peacefully, you’d inflicted so much pain and hurt in your life. This wasn’t warranted. You smiled at the thought that something cared for you, and you drifted into the comforting arms of sleep.

___

The feeling of something wet brushing your back wakes you, but you don’t startle, you don’t even open your eyes. You take this moment to take in where you are, what your body feels like. It was sore and achy, but real…? You’re meant to be dead and yet everything feels so…real. _Is it real? Am I dead?_ The realisation hits you like a train. You’re not… dead. You’re well and truly alive and something is slowly stroking your back. You open your eyes slightly, looking forwards. You’re on your side in what feels like a bed, and a clay-like wall is in front of you. It seems you’re close to the ground, maybe laying on makeshift palettes of some some-sort? A bed? The stroking behind you halters. They’ve noticed you’re awake. Everything is dead still. Then you feel a hand start to rise to your shoulder and that’s when you panic. You twist around as fast as you can, grabbing the wrist that was threatening you into a vice-like grip. You let out a whimper from the pain.

You can’t believe the Beskar staring back at you.

“Hey! You’re hurt, it's okay…I’m helping you,” The vocoder cracks, sternly.

What in the name of all that is holy is he doing here? He left you behind, simply forgot about you, and now he’s ‘caring’ for you? _What in the…_

“You left me behind,” leaves your lips before you can stop them. You’re so emotional now, you’d given up trying to hide it a while ago, it only hurt more to keep your feelings pent up. It was like they’d beaten you so bad you couldn’t even control what you wanted to feel anymore. But you didn’t want to show any sort of thankfulness. He was the reason you got into this mess.

He doesn’t reply, instead he just slowly goes to rub your forehead with the wet cloth. You flinch and move away. You can’t trust him. Why is he being nice to you? This could be some sick trick by Gideon maybe, or maybe it was your mind torturing you. This really can’t be happening.

“I didn’t leave you behind, I—,” he stops, freezing in his sentence and movements. _He what?_ What could he have thought…to just leave _me_ , _to forget about me?_

“Get out.” You didn’t want him here. His presence hurt you. Everything that you ever cared about ended up hurting you, and if you let him back in again it only meant he’d be leaving once more. You don’t have the capacity to feel that level of hurt again.

“Please—,” He turns his helm to you, the strain in his voice was pertinent. His pain hurt you, pricking tears in your eyes. But you can’t let him in.

“Leave,” you say again, this time trembling, the weight of the situation burning you from the inside out.

“Please, just let me explain,” The pleading in his voice makes your heart twinge, a feeling you haven’t felt in weeks. He moves closer to you now, resting on his elbow to the right of you, leaning over your chest slightly, trying to close the gap between the both of you. You remain quiet, waiting for him to convince you of his justification. “I…I got hurt, badly, I coul—,” You cut him off.

“I wanted to die once I knew you’d forgotten about me.” You snap. You really did. The pain of knowing that you weren’t anything to him was what tore you open. You thought that you had made a friend, you’d never been so comfortable with someone before, despite only knowing each other for such little time, it felt special, and you thought he felt the same way too. But back in your cell, your prison, you soon realised that wasn’t the case. The physical pain was temporary, but the emotional torment of his absence was excruciating. You really did want it to end back then, to be put out of your misery.

“ _Don't_. Don’t say that. You don’t mean it.” He orders back, almost in a way that if it comes from him it must be true.

“No, don’t tell me what I can and can’t feel. You left me. I nearly died for you, for the Child. I thought I could trust you, but you flew away without even considering me, leaving me to die. _You abandoned me_.” The end of the sentence was weak and choked, you couldn’t stop the tears now. The pain of the last month was finally spewing out of you, he’d pulled the plug, the last straw. You move to get up now but he pushes you down by the chest.

“I didn’t leave you behind, I thought you were gone. I thou—,” He’s sitting up now, looking desperate but angry. “I had to go. The Child was in danger by being there, and I thought that you had—,”

“Had what? _Died_? Hmm? You didn’t even come back to check. You flew off without hesitation,” You spit back, this was accusatory now, but there wasn’t any other explanation you could think of. You heard him fly away, you knew he did, you overheard the conversations between the troopers saying they couldn’t track the Razor Crest, they’d even beaten you for three days straight because they were convinced you knew where he’d gone, like he’d escaped.

“YES! I thought you were dead. And I didn’t want you to be. I did come back, I looked EVERYWHERE for you. Cara and Karga scoured the Cantina and the whole town, there was no trace of you. NONE.” He’s shouting now, the anger and pain in his voice only winding you up more. This is all too much. But then…how have you ended up here? You mind jumps back to the prison, there are so many gaps in your memory that you don’t have answers to.

“Well, how _am_ I here then? If I'm dead, how am I talking to you?” You talk quietly now, you’re more confused than angry, the energy to hold your fury dissipating.

“That doesn’t matter,” he says dismissively. He wants the conversation to be over now. _What?_ Why is he hiding this from you? What doesn’t he want you to know?

“It does to me, tell me how I am here. I should be dead,” You command this, now forcing him out of the way so you can get ready to leave. You don’t plan on staying here any longer than you have to.

“DONT, Please, It’s not relevant, what matters is you’re here now,” he tries to push you back down into the mattress but you push him away again, using more strength than you should’ve. “What do you think you’re doing?” He snaps, his hand still pushing your shoulder to the mattress, the pain in your back now starting to seep into your emotions, winding you up even further.

“Leaving,” you say, again pushing back and quickly getting up from the mattress. You spot your boots at the front of the room and step towards them, but then you’re stumbling forwards. You brace yourself on the wall, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. Your legs are shaky and you’re seeing stars. You try gripping the wall harder to hold you but before you know it everything is going black again.

___

You awake again, but this time the room is dark, too dark. You can’t see much even with your eyes open. Your head is banging, so you reach up to feel the tight pressure at the side. There's a light bump and what feels like a cut, but nothing too serious, you hope it’s only a slight concussion. You turn your head to look around, checking to see if there’s anyone here, even though you can’t see. Listening out you can sense that it’s only you in the room, and so you go to get up. You pause again whilst you are sat on the side of the bed. Nothing…you must be alone, good. You feel your legs, you’re in trousers, and you know you’re now wearing a t-shirt. _Ok, good._ You go to stand up, again feeling wobbly but more manageable than the last time, the rest must have given you some more energy. You remember what the room looked like from before and walk around to the doorway, tapping your feet to your boots at the foot of the door. You bend over to slip them on, not bothering to tie the laces, you don’t have time for niceties. Moving back up the rooms spins a little, but you soon right yourself. 

You peek out of the open door, taking extra care not to make any noise. Karga is sat to the left of the door, snoring with his head back in the chair, the moonlight coating a soft light over the street. Right, you know where you are, roughly. It looks similar to the cantina, and so you know that the spaceport must be close. You tip-toe out of earshot to then lean against the side of the building, looking down the street. It’s empty, which is both a good and a bad thing. It means there’s no one to watch you, but there’s also no one to hide behind.

You start walking, not caring if this is the right direction. You just want to get away, away from the pain. You hope that you can find somewhere abandoned, secluded… you just want to feel numb again. You keep striding, but with each step, it becomes heavier, your head more cloudy and unfocused. Your throat is dry, and you suspect you haven’t had a drink in too long. But you haven’t got time for this, you have to keep moving. In the distance you see another cantina, the lights are on and there’s music blaring. Good, maybe you can ask the bartender nicely for a glass of water and directions to the spaceport. You speed up your pace.

Entering the Cantina as discreetly as possible you keep your head down. Just to the right, you spot someone keeled over on a table, probably drunk. Next to them is a heavy cloak hanging from another chair. You walk over and past them, using sleight of hand to ‘borrow’ their coat, slipping it on as you walk up to the bartender.

“Hey, please can I have a glass of water?” You ask in your nicest tone, slightly abusing your privilege by batting your eyelashes and forming a sweet smile. He chuckles back, turning to fill up a cold glass and hands it to you.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?” He grunts back, leaning an elbow onto the table, bringing his face closer to yours. You know what he’s doing and you’re not interested, but you have to be in order to get another drink and directions.

“Just passing through, actually, I'm wondering if you would be kind enough to help me?” You chirp back, but quietly, not wanting to bring any attention to yourself. You drink the ice cold water like its liquid gold, and the bartender looks at you weirdly for a second, but resumes when you pass the empty glass back.

“Go ahead, sweetheart” He raises an eyebrow to you as he hands you another glass of water.

“Don’t suppose you could tell me which way the spaceport is?” You muse, suggestively leaning into him to make sure that his attention stays drawn on you. You stay smiling, the warmth meets your eyes, despite it being fake.

“Sure do Darlin, you leave here, take a left and follow the street to the end, then take a right. Keep goin’ till’ you see the ships, you can’t miss-em, they’re always lit up.” He points to the door, leaning in further to you. You don’t miss the move and push the last of the drink down your throat.

“Thank you for your kindness, I wish you the best,” you smile back, reaching a hand out to shake his. He seemed genuinely nice, however, not disgruntled like most men are, and shook your hand back, his smile reflecting yours, which was now genuine. Maybe now that the Imperial presence has left this place everyone is a lot happier, which is good.

You stride out the door and follow his instructions to the spaceport.

The quiet walk was therapeutic, it gave you space to clear your mind and think about what Mando had said. He thought you had died? That explains why he left. But then he said he was looking for you? The guilt was starting to roll over you. If he thought you were dead there wasn’t much he could do. He couldn’t bring you back to life or anything, and really you knew it was dangerous for him to return there with the Child, it’d be asking for trouble. But it still hurt nonetheless. It was still a traumatic experience, and despite him being here now that doesn’t mean he has free entry into your trust again. You trusted him with all of this and it only lead you to pain. You knew he wasn’t explicitly the one causing it, that it wasn’t his fault it went wrong. You knew that if you hadn’t indulged in hurting Gideon you wouldn’t have been captured, but because of him, you’d been the one that got hurt, taken prisoner and used.

Your body had carried you subconsciously to the spaceport, the glaring lights and low rumbles of engines brought you out of your reverie. You glanced around, looking for a ship you could maybe hitch a ride on for free by offering work. Anywhere from here, you couldn’t stay, no matter how much you wanted to be with the Mandalorian, you knew you’d eventually only cause him pain. He deserved someone better than you, someone, who wasn’t a crazed animal. He needed someone warm and caring, someone, that he could go to for guidance or acceptance. You weren’t any of that, and it hurt.

You didn’t have any luck with the first few ships, and your body was tiring by the minute, so you knew you’d have to find somewhere to sit and take a quick nap. You noticed that there was a small abandoned building to the far right of the compound. It looked like an old temporary hut that the Imperials had set up, and obviously, now there was no one to occupy it…other than you. There was a dusty desk and chair in the centre of the room. You took the cloak off and laid it behind the chair, it was too warm to sleep in. Before you knew it you were leaning over the desk, finding the most comfortable sleeping position in the chair. And you were out like a light.

____

You awoke to someone grabbing your wrists. Your head darted up and you tried to pull away, vision still blurry from what you suspected was concussion. You couldn’t move, your wrists were being held, and now there was a hand around you waist and it was lifting you up. The pain in you back startled you awake, and you began kicking and shouting, but your voice was dry and strained so it cracked as you coughed in pain.

“What did you think you were doing?” A digital voice demanded into your ear. Ow, that was loud. He’d found you, and you knew this time he wasn’t going to let you escape. But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t put up a fight. Assessing your surrounding you came up with a quick plan. You shifted slightly, using your elbow to dig into his side. He keeled over, coughing a bit whilst loosening his grip just enough to let you slip-free. You slid over the desk, chucking your feet forwards. Clocking the window in front of you you jumped out of the window head first, glass shattering everywhere. You rolled on the landing, but not as smoothly as you would’ve liked, the injury on your back causing you to groan outwardly. You found your feet quickly enough however and started to run. It was very early morning, but there was still darkness; however, the lights of the shipyard were bright enough to light your path. You heard a not too distant mutter from behind you -

“3…2…1…” and before you could react your legs were swept from underneath you, knocking the air out of your chest. The pain in your back was only getting worse with each twist and knock, and you couldn’t stop the tears forming at the corners of your eyes. He’d used a sort of grapple to wrap your ankles to stop you from running. You turned your head towards him. He was creeping up on you, like a hunter stalking its prey. The adrenaline and fear of it all twitched on your skin, but you couldn’t hide the smile that plastered your face. It was fun and you couldn’t even deny it. The whole motion of him hunting you sparked a sickly low burn within you, something that you’d never admit to being excited by. You wriggled your ankle just enough to get them loose and made another darting run. You’d been grappled a few times before and you knew specific techniques to break free - and this obviously confused Mando as he let out a confused remark.

“What the— Hey! Stop running, I’m not playing,” but you heard the smile in his voice, the playfulness. He was secretly enjoying this too. And that made you giggle as you turned the corner. You didn’t want to like this man, your mind kept telling you no, you can't, he’ll only hurt you. But your body and your feelings were making it all that much more difficult as you ran, laughing, down the empty streets of Nevarro, the shiny shadow of the Mandalorian following you.

You knew the cuffs were electric, and that meant if you got them in water they’d disengage. You remembered that the centre of town had a water fountain. You remember seeing it as they carted you away, you assured that was where all of the animals were tied up and would rest before they were used for hiking across the harsh desert. You followed the signs and buildings until you saw the fountain. The Mandalorian wasn’t far behind you, and you knew that it wouldn’t be long until he was on you again.

You plunged your wrists into the fountain, glaring back at the chrome figure who had just turned the same corner as you. He soon realised what you were doing and stopped, almost shocked.

“HEY! Don’t you even think ab—” He put a hand up in an effort to dissuade you. It didn’t work.

The cuffs sizzled and popped but soon enough opened. You grinned to yourself, then back at the Mandalorian who looked stunned. He was now only five or six metres away. He was slowly moving towards you like he could calm you down or persuade you not to run. _Oh no, you were having too much fun to stop,_ “You’ll have to do better than that, _Mando_ ” You said his name through a grin, and he didn’t hide the chuckle he let out from the short distance away from you. _He was enjoying this!_ He lowered his hand. You relaxed momentarily. He thought that you were going to give yourself up. He thought wrong.

You lurched away and continued running. The sun was starting to rise now and people were filtering onto the street, the stalls now occupying a few tenders. You noticed an armoury stall just ahead, the glinting of knives sent a shiver down your spine, which was stinging through all of this. No doubt the injury had opened completely and it was staining your shirt now, but you didn’t care. You needed something to defend yourself against him with. You wouldn’t hurt him, heck he was covered in Beskar and at least a half-foot taller and twice as heavy, but you’d do your best to hold him off. As you ran past the vender you grabbed two combat knives, letting out a rushed “sorry!” as you left. The stall owner didn’t even have time to react but soon got the picture when the armoured tank of a human known as the Mandalorian came rushing past a few moments later.

Then you had the most marvellous thought…if Mando was here, then so was his ship. And how funny would it be if you hijacked his ship? _Very._ It would make your year. So that’s what you decided you’d do. You knew you wouldn’t escape him, but the comedy of taking his ship was too tempting and so you charted a mental course back to the shipyard. You knew where he’d parked it last time and the odds of him parking it there again were high. Mando seemed to catch onto your path and sped up a bit, pre-empting your moves in-between the buildings. You knew the space between you was dwindling, and so was your body, but surely the Mandalorian was getting tired too?

You entered the shipyard, eyes scouring for the Razor Crest. You caught sight of the orange markings in the corner of your eye and darted left, almost tripping over yourself. You kicked up dust-up at the sudden change in direction. The Mandalorian had tried to grab you at that moment but missed and went flying into the side of a ship. The clash of metal and angry Mando grunts sent you reeling. You knew this bought you a few seconds as you ran into his ship, the ramp already down. You launched up into the hull, the shiny floor not as grippy as the ground outside and you slip, but you catch yourself by rolling over and now you’re at the foot of the ladder…the Mandalorian stood opposite you at the other end of the hull.

You know you won’t make it to the cockpit in time, and this is your last dance, _so let’s make it a good one_.

You’re both stood staring at one another, waiting for the other to make a move. You twirled the knives in each hand, playing with them nervously. You’d seen the Mandalorian fight, he was good, very good, but you couldn’t deny the fact that your combat skills probably matched his in good health…but you weren’t in good health, you were sick with a concussion and heavy injuries which restricted your movement and reaction time…coincidentally the two things you relied upon on the most.

Mando reached into his boot and pulled out a metal object, and with a quick, _and hot,_ flick of his wrist you were soon informed it was a Vibroblade. The way he moved had hit another nerve deep in your belly, you tried your best to ignore it. You knew how much those things hurt, so you needed to focus…but you hoped that this wouldn’t get to that point. You hoped that he wouldn’t go there.

Mando made the first move. He ran forwards, bringing the knife down and across your right forearm when he was close, just scraping the first layer of skin on your arm. _Oh, ok, we are going there?_ The contact didn’t physically hurt, but it hurt your feelings a bit to know that he wasn’t scared to cause harm. You blocked the thought that you were enjoying this _too_ much, he didn’t feel the same way. He saw the confusion on your face and stiffened up, almost going to apologise until you crouched down and launched a fist into his gut, the same place you’d hit just before, the sweet spot just under his Beskar chest plate. He heaved a little but grabbed your right arm, bringing it down closer to the ground. You bent down further to yank his grip from yours, stepping to the side and taking a half step back, giving you a moment to think about your next move. But he made that choice for you and launched his right arm again, bringing it close to your left shoulder, this time drawing blood. You let out a pained grunt as you grabbed his right arm with your left, pushing him back with a kick but not releasing your hold on him. He fell into the back wall of the hull as you're brought your right hand down to his collarbone, but he’d shifted his left arm up to block your attack.

You were in full battle mode now, everything was happening instinctively.

You both struggled in this position for a moment, trying to stop one-another’s knives from impaling each-other, but still refusing to back down. You were grinning ear to ear now. You weren’t going to hide it anymore. Fighting the Mandalorian was turning you on.

With that you twisted your right wrist inwards, grazing the knife across his wrist, causing his fingers to straighten and in turn disarming him. In this movement he kicked his leg out, forcing your back to the ground. The adrenaline couldn’t mask the pain and the cry you let out was genuine, exhaustive as it brought a couple of tears to your eyes. But now wasn’t the time for pain, you had to react now. His hand shifted to the pouch on his belt and you soon enough recognised it, it was smilier to the one he had given you…and now you knew what was inside. You rolled back and onto your feet, manoeuvring back into a fighting stance. You’d both traded places, he was underneath the ladder at the cockpit and you were near the exit of the ship. Noticing this he quickly hit a button on his vembrace which began to close the hull up, the ramp moving at an excruciating pace. You knew you could have run at this moment…but you didn't. You didn’t want to run anymore.

He lurched quickly, flinging a metal shard your way, but you just managed to dodge it in time, the pang of metal behind you reassuring you. You moved again and again until you were practically against the back wall of the hull, the cold durasteel prickling against the bloodied mess on your back. You had nowhere else to go.

He had stopped throwing the knives when he realised you weren’t running, and so you both stood facing one another, the loud drone of the ramp motors working hard to bring the heavy durasteel ramp up into its place. You didn’t expect what happened next though…

The ship plunged into darkness.

Okay, this was getting dangerous now. You were running out of energy and now you couldn’t see him. You knew he had some sort of night vision in his helmet and this was playing dirty. You gripped the knives a little tighter now. You heard a hiss as the door secured into place.

Dead silence.

You heard another hiss, and then a metal clank, this time not from the door, but you didn’t have time to explain it as his footsteps started to make their way towards you. You closed our eyes in an effort to hear his presence better, so you could defend yourself. You knew he was close.

A hand gripped your shoulder and pushed you against the wall, the other grabbing your right hand and pinching in a way that made you drop the knife. You swung your other hand up but stopped at the contact.

He was kissing you.

This…you really didn’t expect…at all. You froze against the wall, the shock was crippling you, your left arm was hanging precariously close to his neck. It’d only take a slight movement to slice it open…but you didn't. His warmth was comforting, calm. And you relaxed, kissing him back.

You couldn’t deny the way this was making you feel. You dropped the knife to the floor, ignoring the harsh pang of metal on metal. His hand moved away from your wrist and to your face, his other hand that was gripping your shoulder gently moves around the small of your back. You slowly move your arms up, one hand resting on his forearm and the other to the hand pressed to your cheek. You were reeling in his presence, it was intoxicating. The slow burn that he’d ignited was now starting to burn more viciously. The kisses were long and slow, but needy. His stubble tickled your lips and cheeks. He was digging into you with his emotions, he was trying to find something, or tell you something. You didn’t know what he wanted, but you knew that in this moment…it felt right. You both needed this.

He slowly moved away from you, but not far, you could still feel his warm breath on your lips, his thumb was rubbing your cheek slowly, lovingly. You managed to catch your breath.

“I came to find you as soon as I knew you were alive. Karga and Cara had heard rumours of an Imperial Base on the other side of Nevarro,” he pauses, silently asking for your permission to continue. You were calm now, you knew he didn’t want to hurt you and in reality, you did want to know what had happened. You nod gently, letting him know to carry on, “Well, Karga managed to get a tracking-fob for you. I don’t know how he did it, he knew I was… anyway, as soon as I heard you could still be alive I came straight back. We overran the imperial base and I found you in a cell, you were,—” His breath hitched. He had become more gravelly as he went on, and his grip on your cheek and back hardened. The emotion in his voice and rehashing of the events made your eyes burn and your heart thump. The trauma and its effect on you wasn’t something you could control, and it hurt, a lot. “Well, I saw what they’d done to you and I was so…I…I had to get you out of there. You were so close to not…” He’s panting now, like he’s panicked that you’re going to go again, to not be here with him. You rub his hand with your thumb, letting him know it’s ok and that you’re not going anywhere.

“I’m ok now, Din,—” He stiffened when you said his name, his real name. You know he hadn’t given you permission but you needed him to know this was genuine, you were talking to him, “You saved me,” you said softly. It was true, he had saved you, and no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself you hated him or that you were angry, you couldn’t. He had saved you, and you were thankful for it.

He didn’t release his tight grip on you, and it was starting to hurt until he landed another kiss on your lips, but this time it was more rushed, more aggressive. He had moved closer now, pushing you up against the wall with his body. His hand dropped from your cheek to your throat and gripped it lightly at first, but then slowly tightened. You loved the feeling, and that fire within you was now going crazy. His other hand came up to meet your waist, pinning you in place. He was relentless, and so were you. Both of you were desperate for touch, for intimacy; reassurance that the other was ok. You could feel something hard against your hip, and it didn’t take long to realise it wasn’t Beskar. A hiccup of a shocked groan escaped your lips, and he replied by digging his head into your shoulder, nipping the delicate skin with his teeth. That sent you wild. This man had complete and utter control over you now, you’d do anything he asked you to. You hadn’t thought of him this way, or tried not to at least, but you can’t deny your attraction anymore. The chase had wound you up, and his kiss had sealed the deal. You closed your eyes at the sensation, it was hot and desperate. Things were very close to going further but his hand grazed your back and you let out a cry. You tensed out of pain, genuine pain, and that’s when the effects of the last thirty minutes had decided to kick in. He let go quickly, realising what he’d done he shifted away, and you went cold. You missed his absence already.

The familiar sound of metal and hissing was hidden in the darkness and then the lights came back on.

___

You were both sat in the hull of the ship. Your shirt was blood-soaked from the reopened wounds on your back, so Mando offered to clean them and dress you up. Neither of you had said anything, but it wasn’t an awkward silence like you’d expect, it was understanding, and warm. You both were just happy to be in one another’s company.

You sat with your chest to a chair, straddling it like you did back in the prison, except this time instead of enduring pain, the Mandalorian was soothing your injuries with a bacta-wipe. At first, it was painful, you were gripping the chair and flinching with each wipe. You’d hear the occasional ‘sorry’ now and then, but you both knew that it had to be done so you just bit your lip and got on with it. After a while, though the antiseptic had done its worst and the wound was beginning to heal. Your eyes were closed at this point, arms crossed across the top of the chair with your chin resting on your forearms. Soon, it was relaxing, and his slow, steady contact nearly sent you into asleep. However, before you could, he stopped. You could feel his silent brewing but now it was unbearable.

“What's wrong?” You asked quietly, close to a whisper, but genuine. You wanted to know why he was so upset.

“I should’ve been there sooner,” He said bluntly. He was angry, but not at you…himself. You heard the clinch of leather-like he was gripping his fists. You recognised this and tried to soothe him.

“This isn’t your fault, it's ok, you got me out of there and that’s what matters, ok?” You chime back, turning your head to the side so that he knows you’re being honest. You didn’t want him to think that these injuries were his fault... if anything they’re your own. If you hadn’t been so vindictive you wouldn’t have been punished in such a way, or so you hoped…they’re a result from your ‘present’ to Gideon, the one that scares his neck.

“It wasn’t enough, I should’ve known where you were, I…I should’ve gone quicker, or come back and searched again…I shouldn’t have left you back there, I—,” You can hear him spiralling in his own thoughts. He was wrong, he did what he could and you knew that now, you don’t hold any bad feelings against him.

“Din.” You said sternly. You said it in a way to dismiss him completely, but not disregard his feelings. It told him that it wasn’t his fault and that he was getting wound up, and that what happened happened and he can’t do anything about that now. It told him you had forgiven him, that you were ok. “These injuries are my fault. I…I did something I shouldn’t have done, and I paid the price. Please, don’t blame yourself for this, for any of this,” You plead. None of your injuries are his fault, and it hurt you to know that he thought they were.

The ship fell back into silence.

After a while, Mando whispered, “What did you do…?”

You didn’t want to tell him, you were afraid of what he’d think of you. So you looked for a way to get out of this conversation. You’d tell him one day when you’re ready…but not today.

“I don’t think you want to know…” you whisper back. Your head sinks into your arms, your back tenses. Just thinking back to what you did makes you want to heave. You genuinely cannot believe that you turned like that…looking back, it felt like that wasn’t really you, but in fact, it was the primal, feral animal you’d kept locked away for so long out of fear for what it’d do…and now you know how far you can go, and even further.

“I’m sure it's not that ba—,” Mando tried to comfort you, you know he’s just trying to be nice but you really, _really_ don’t want to talk about it. You’d just had such a lovely moment with him, a moment you want to happen again, and you’re scared that if he knows this side to you then he’d kick you off this ship this instance and fly away, never to be seen again. And you can’t have him leave, not again.

“No, Din. Please.” You cut back. You’re not having this conversation. End of.

Mando doesn’t say anything but slowly returns to using a warm cloth and water to wash your back, trying to relax you once again.

After a while, the water had gone cold so Mando went to put the bucket and cloth away, only after he’d dressed the wounds. He discarded the used bacta-wipe on his way out of the ship with the dirty water. You slid the clean shirt on and relaxed at the scent, _his scent_ ; the homely pine and metal lining your nostrils and cuddling your heart. You couldn’t hide these feelings now, his very open display of affection made his intentions quite clear…you just hope that it wasn’t a one-time thing. But you weren’t going to push him, you’d both been through enough emotional turmoil in the last few days.

____

You both made your way back to the centre of Nevarro, this time your weren’t running from the Mandalorian, but were stood next to him; his hand rested on the small of your back as you walked through the town at midday.

You arrived at the Cantina that it all went down in, but once you were inside it was evident things had changed. It was a school. The main room was filled with kids, and then you clocked him, _the Kid._ He glanced over to you and let out a shrieked coo. The class was on a break so the kids were running around playing with a whole manner of interesting toys, but the little green gremlins attention was set on you. He waddled over furiously, as fast as his little legs could take him and you bent down to meet his greeting. Picking him up you brought him to your chest. The warmth was almost godly, and the rush of calm made your skin burn, but in a good way. You’d missed him incredibly. His little embrace was enough to make it all worth it. You looked down at him, and he looked up at you, and you both giggle at the same time. It was sweet, one of those rare moments you only get a few times in your life. It was similar to the time you and Mando were walking side by side to Nevarro, hands in cuffs, joking to one another. It was another moment you’d cherish.

The kid looked to Mando and smiled a toothy grin, Mando reciprocated in a physical way, rubbing his hand along the Kid's ear. You placed him back onto the ground and he returned to his new friends, cooing and bubbling away in unintelligible conversation. You looked up at Mando who stared at the Kid. You couldn’t help but smile.

_____

Mando had brought you into Karga’s office, which is where you met newly commissioned Ranger Cara. She suited the role, almost like it was made for her. She sat in a chair just off from Karga, who was sat with his feet up on his new, professional desk.

“Nice to see you up and about,” Cara said, smirking to Mando as she said it. She must know about your little early morning tirade. You glanced to look Karga.

“Scared the living daylights out of me when you weren’t there!” Karga exclaimed, but his face was plagued with comedy and his trademarked grin. You giggled.

“Sorry Karga, just needed to stretch my legs,” you joked back, the both of you giggling now.

“Yeah, we could see that. You should’ve seen Mando when he found out you weren’t there,” Cara smirked to Mando, who shifted slightly, awkwardly almost.

“I thought he was gonna string me up like those bounties of his!” Karga jerked, looking to you then Cara as he laughed out loud. It was infectious, and soon the three of you were laughing, almost hysterically. Mando stiffened again, and you could feel his frustration as he stood next to you. You didn’t want him to feel awkward. You’re just having a laugh with his friends, you don’t mean any harm by it.

“Im glad he found me though,” You interrupt, softly, turning to Mando as you say it. And he relaxes, knowing that you did appreciate him after all. “Even if I did have to show him how to fight,” you smirk, landing a light but playful punch to his arm. He turned his head to you.

“Did you win?” He chimed back, trying to one-up you in front of his friends. No one had really lost the fight.

“Depends which way you look at it,” You say back, this time suggestively, and he stiffens into an awkward stand again. You know you’ve just hit a nerve, hopefully, a forgiving one. You didn’t mean to anger him, if anything you were trying to flirt. But he soothed your worries when he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into a small hug, your arm and shoulder touching his. It was sweet, it was his way of showing affection. You were starting to understand that he used physical touch and not words, and you didn’t mind that, _not at all_.

“Do we need to leave the room or…” Cara asks jokingly, pointing a finger behind her towards the door. You roll your eyes and throw her a chuckle, dismissing her enquiry.

_____

Mando and the group had gone on to explain that they hadn’t had any luck finding any of the Kid’s kind, or any Jedi in fact. They’d all been sent into exile after the Empire rose, and Karga assumed that not many were left. There were odd talkings here or there of rogue Jedi, but the odds of that actually being true were beyond slim. So they’d decided to keep the Kid in school until anything pops up. In the meantime, Mando had been collecting quarries here and there to tide him over and fill the void, to take his mind off…you. They also said they’d been looking for traces of you, and that Mando had gone onto search a few suspect planets but had no luck. They said they were shocked to find out you were actually still here on Nevarro and not on the other side of the Galaxy, which was relieving in a sense. Karga had managed to get hold of some of your DNA from your belongings on the ship, allowing him to create a tracking fob for you. It was quietly comforting to know Mando had kept hold of your stuff like he was still expecting you to return. And with that, they pieced together that you were probably at the Imperial Base they had just found on the outer stretch of the planet. They had two motives for going there, Mando’s motive was the chance to find you and theirs (Karga and Cara’s) was to completely rid the planet of Imperial jurisdiction. They didn’t go into much detail about what happened after they found you, other than the fact that you got a free ride with Mando and his Jetpack; which explained the weird floating experience. Mando had tightened as soon as the conversation went in that direction, and when it came to talking about you he’d left. That confused you, and hurt a little until Cara and Karga explained.

“He was really worried about you y’know,” Cara said quietly, knowing he could well be listening outside.

“Yeah, he was…almost feral. He didn’t know what to do, he was lost," Karga said under his breath. “As soon as I managed to make you a tracking fob he was on his way here, I’ve never known a ship to make that trip in such short time,” He chuckled, but only to ease the tension. The thought of Mando being this upset hurt you a little. You knew he was only like this out of care for you but you didn’t want him hurting. You felt bad that through all of it you thought he’d forgotten about you.

“I thought he’d forgotten about me…that he’d left me for dead,” You said, voice cracking a little bit because it still hurt to say out loud.

“No, he’d never do that. He didn’t really have much choice,” Karga interjected, noticing your strain.

“He was injured, quite badly… we thought he wasn’t going to make it,” Cara said, looking to Karga towards the end of the sentence. The thought of Mando dying tugged you on the inside. It formed an ugly face, and the sheer weight of how bad it was dawned on you. He must have got knocked up real bad.

“Was it from the blast? He landed quite…” You asked, that was a hell of a crash and he didn’t move afterwards.

“Yeah, he was bleeding out from his head. But IG saved him, and, well…now he’s here,” Cara said, smiling to the door he’d left from a few minutes ago.

“I’m glad he is,” you said, drawing a solemn smile. It was sad, you didn’t know he was that close to death but you’re glad that IG saved him, more than glad. Then your mind jumped erratically, reminding you of what happened on the ship. How he’d touched you, held you, _kissed you._ You shuffled slightly at your uncomfortable thoughts…

“There's something else you should know,” Karga said, instantly bringing your attention back to his, “There was a Mandalorian covert here on Nevarro. When Mando went Rogue to save the Kid, the other Mandalorian's came out of hiding to protect him. The Empire caught wind of this and soon they were…” He stopped briefly, looking at Cara as if for her to continue, and she did.

“The Empire took them out. They were his family. We found the remains of their armour in the lava flats under the city as we escaped. He was devastated, as anyone would be. He doesn’t have any family, it’s just him and the Kid,” She said, her stare boring into you. The memory was harsh for Cara, you could feel that. You’d never really had family either, but the feeling of losing Mando could give you some sort of hint towards what he was feeling, which to you was stifling and suffocating. Maker knows the pain he must’ve felt, still is feeling after that experience. It makes you shudder.

“…And now you,” Karga follows. This surprised you, and you turn to him now, confused, “You’re his family now. He swore an oath to another Mandalorian, that if he found you you’d be part of his clan, clan…” He stopped, his face strewn in confusion like he’d forgotten the name.

“Mudhorn” A Digital voice broke through. You jumped in your seat, the tensity of the conversation and his shock prickles your skin. You didn’t notice him walk in, you don’t think anyone did. You were all so deep in chat.

You turn behind you to meet his gaze, then turn back to Cara and Karga. Mando places his hands on the back of the chair you’re sat on, leaning on it slightly. His presence is intoxicating, but in a good way, especially after your little embrace on the ship. You smile, subconsciously knowing that you’re safe in his company.

“That's the one!” Karga chuckles, and you smile back. It’s sweet, all of this. They all felt like family... like you’d finally found your people.

______

Karga had given Mando four pucks. You knew you’d be going as soon as you could. You were excited to leave and experience new things, but then you were also nervous to leave the safety of Nevarro. This was the first time you felt truly safe on a planet, and Cara and Kargas company was definitely something you were going to miss. You and Mando collected the Kid from the school, letting him say goodbye in his own language before setting off into town and back to the ship.

______

You browsed the stalls. There was such a range of what you could only call ‘stuff’ on sale; clothing, food, materials, _weapons_. You stopped a little too long at the weapons stall, and Mando noticed. You eyes glared over the selection of knives. None of them were particularly fancy or rare, but practical nonetheless; it was better than nothing.

You didn’t notice him creep up behind you until he placed a hand on your shoulder. You jumped slightly at the touch and he leaned in, his helmet just millimetres away from your cheek.

“I’ve got something to show you back on the ship,” he said in a quiet, _sexy_ voice. It sent shivers down your spine, but not the ones you get when you’re scared, no, the ones that make you _feel_ good. You turn your head slightly, acknowledging his words without reply. He steps away and continues walking in the direction of the ship, the Kid’s pod hovering just behind. You smile awkwardly at the stall owner, nodding your head quickly then stuttering back to Mando, who replaced his hand at the small of your back like before.

______

You arrived back at the ship. You were bubbling with anticipation. You wanted to know what he had been talking about back at the weapons stall, ever since his comment, your mind had been swirling. Mando walked you into the ship and closed the ramp, leaving the lights on this time. He set the pucks down on the table and walked over to the other side of the ship. He pushed the Kid’s pod into his sleeping quarters, the school must’ve really knocked it out of him as the Child was not fast asleep. After closing the door to his sleeping quarters, Mando pressed a few buttons on his vembrace, and then a familiar closet opened, revealing his small armoury. It took your breath away like it had the first time, the shiny tools glinting and sparkling. This is what he spent his credits on; not fancy clothes or fast ships or stunning women, _no,_ he acted as though weapons were his religion. And you supposed they were.

He reached in and brought out a leather parcel. He turned toward you and held it out in his hands, prompting you to unwrap it. You undid the leather string and pulled the wrap aside, revealing two beautifully crafted knives. You stepped forward, wanting to get a closer look at them. They had beautifully etched waves covering the blade, which was slightly curved like a claw. The inside edge was sharp, mirrored to the point you could see your own reflection looking back at yours as clear as day. You could cut air with these things… The outside edge was serrated instead, and towards the handle it had three deep notches, each having a different type of blade at the bottom of the dip. The metal looked to be Beskar, as the waves of dark Mandalorian Iron were similar in style to the knives Mando had given you… before they were taken. The handle was carved of a sort of bone, but it was smooth, with three small dips on each to mark out where fingers would sit. Etched into the bone however was the same Signet Mando had brandished on one of his pauldron’s, what you assumed to be a Mudhorn, the name of his clan. Towards the end of each knife was a ring, which made the knives what you recognised to be Karambit’s. They were the best looking knives you had ever seen, the craftsmanship was exquisite, so detailed and precious. But their strength and versatility were clear. You knew Mando would take good care of these, you approved of his taste.

“These are amazing, I hope you’re happy with them because I would be,” You say, glaring at your reflection in the knife-edge, almost drooling.

“They’re yours,” He says softly. You head darts up, and if looks could kill he’d be dead. _No, this was too much_. You were expecting a souvenir or whatever normal people get as little gifts, this was crazy. You shook your head as you looked back at the knives, no matter how much you wanted to you can’t accept these, you haven’t earned them.

“Mando I—,” You go to reject them, slowly moving away but he cuts you off.

“Din.” He says sternly. He makes it clear just through his tone that this is what he wants you to refer to him by between the two of you. It makes you smirk to know that it was just you allowed to call him by his real name… your skin prickled with the familiar, molten goosebumps you felt last time you were on the ship with him, “I had them made for you by the Armourer, as a gift. She made you part of my clan, you’re under my protection now. I didn’t want to believe you were gone.” He chimed, his gaze still on you, your’s still on the knives. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“You had them made… _for me?”_ You whisper back, slowly bringing your eyes to his, they’re now stinging at the corners. No one has ever done anything like this for you, ever; and the motion has hit you deep, pulling at your heartstrings.

“Yes, they’re for you and only you,” he nods at you, prompting you to pick them up. You hesitate a little, but he encourages you by shifting a little towards you, almost pushing them into you. You slowly reach down, almost not wanting to disturb them because they look holy, forbidden. But you do eventually, taking them off of the leather and feeling them in your hands. They’re perfect, more than perfect. Incredibly light. They give off a strong and foreboding feeling.

You step back from him, giving yourself a little space with your newest additions. You swirl them around playfully, showing off a little. You’d learnt a few tricks over time and Mando seemed impressed.

“You owe me a few lessons,” He chuckles as he leans back into the Armoury. You’re too busy swinging them around to notice what he’s doing.

“A magician never reveals their tricks,” you chuckle back. You would happily teach him a few new tricks if it meant you got to beat up a Mandalorian, the clout would be a winner at socials.

“ _Oh really?_ I was hoping we could go somewhere to train, practice even,” He says with his back turned to you. You’re still fascinated by his present to you, only paying half attention.

“Are you being genuine or taking the mick? If so… I suppose I can arrange something,” You curt back, acting way too big for your boots. The confidence these knives have given you is dangerous.

“I'm being genuine…here,—” he cuts you off by turning around, pushing his hands forwards to you again. This time he’s holding some leather straps, similar to the ones he gave you the first time, but these seem to be tailored to you. You smile at him, you're so inexplicably happy right now you cannot contain your grin. He hands the set to you. A thigh and arm holster. You put them on straight away, finding that they fit without adjustment needed. You go to sheath the knives in them but he stops you by handing you something else. It's another handful of leather, but this one looks different to any you had seen before.

“It goes on your back,” He says, like he was reading your mind and answering your confusion, “you’ll have to take your top off so I'll g—,” You interject.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind, plus I have no idea how this thing works…” you say back, bringing your gaze to his. You drift your hands to the hem of your shirt and bring it up and over your head, letting it drop to the floor. You’ve still got your bandeau wrap underneath, but your stomach and ribs are exposed now. His helm doesn’t move, but you suspect his eyes have already summed you up by the sharp intake of breath that his vocoder doesn’t manage to hide. Usually, he’d use his helmet as a shield, allowing him to hide his true reaction. But just by his body language alone, it was evident he’d tensed up.

He prompts you to turn around, so you do, remaining still, your hands at your side. You’re completely aware of the state your back is in… the cuts and bruises must look terrifying. It certainly hurt enough, and you knew that his fists were clenching at the sight. It put you at ease knowing that he wasn’t mad at you, or disgusted. You felt comfortable in his presence, more comfortable than you had ever been with anyone.

He reaches to the left, opening one of the straps so you can slide your arm in, repeating the movement on the other side. It was similar to putting on a jacket or coat, sliding arms into sleeves but instead, it was just leather and buckles. Your breathing has quickened now, and you hope he hasn’t noticed. Once on, you find that he reaches forwards, pulling each strap that sat at the top of your shoulder, tightening the leather against your skin. It doesn’t pinch as you expect; instead, it’s soft and padded.

He leans forward, asking with a whisper that the vocoder doesn’t completely hide, “Can you pass me the knives?” His voice was so gentle and warm. You lull your arms back slightly, letting him take them from you. His fingers graze yours and you twitch a little, the goosebumps plaguing your skin. He must’ve noticed your bodies reaction because he slides his fingers gently up your arms from your wrist and over your shoulders and to your neck, stroking his thumb at the nape for a second, the cold of the Knives prickling you. You sigh slightly as he pulls away and slots the two knives gently into the holsters on the back. It felt like they sat crisscrossed to your body, the handles facing towards the floor. “Try it,” He says and steps back. It takes you a second to figure out how its work, but you reach bending you, wrapping a finger in each of the hole’s at the end of the knives and pull them out quickly, swinging them in a half-circle until they sat comfortably in your grip. _That felt so good_ , your smile was hurting now. You reached back and placed the knives back in the holsters, then reached down to grab your shirt to put it back on. After, you turned round to catch Mando staring, silently admiring you. You couldn’t contain your emotions and you lunged forwards, embracing him in a hug. You heard a pained breathe leave his helm and you presumed it was because you were squeezing too tight, so you loosened up. But he quickly returned your tight embrace with his, leaning his helmet down to rest on your shoulders.

This was another of those golden moments. Something you’d cherish forever. You would do anything for this man, anything. At the drop of a hat, you wouldn’t even hesitate, and it felt like he’d do the same for you.

“Thank you,” is all you could muster without letting on that you were crying a little. The gesture was so foreign to you yet you couldn’t believe you’d gone so long in life without experiencing it, and you hoped that Mando had felt this warmth before as well, that this wasn’t the first time he was feeling this; or you hoped he was feeling this.

“I've got one more thing,” he says. This surprises you, surely there can’t be anything else?! He’d given you more than enough. He’s being too generous now.

“Din this is all too much, you shouldn’t have—,” He cuts your rambling.

“No it's not, anyway, these are quite complicated,” He breaks away from your hug, you frown a little, not wanting him to leave but it’s not long until he’s back close to you. Now, these contraptions you never really have seen before. There is a mix of leather and metal, and your curiosity is instantly peaked. They’re dark leather wrist wraps, with a hole for your thumb and middle finger. On what looks like to be the inside of the wrist sits a metal contraption, and you can’t make out what it is. “Hold out your hands,” he says, and you do as told. You hold them out with your wrists facing the ceiling. He slides them on carefully, and it makes you nervous. These seem quite dangerous… Once on he secures a couple of straps, making sure that your middle finger and thumb are secured properly. “Now, you have to be careful with these and they’ll take a little getting used to,” Your eyes dark up to him, hands still facing the ceiling. You’re feverous now… are they going to slice your fingers off or something?! “Now very carefully, _without_ slicing your fingers off, pull your wrist back, closing your fingers AWAY from the blade,” _blade? Where’s the—_

_“_ MAKER!” You shout as a blade on each wrist shoots out, almost catching your fingers. Mando shoots forward but stops when he realises you’re ok. You chuckle, _now these are cool. “_ Whatever the hell these are I am never taking them off!” You laugh, moving your hands around gingerly, making sure you get a right good look at them. They’re sick, and that’s the best way you can describe them. You go to hug him again but he quickly steps away, then you realise it's probably because you have two Beskar daggers pointing at him. He slowly moves towards you and shows you how to retract them; it’s a slight flight of the wrist and they’re back in the holsters. He removes them and sets them back inside the Armoury, despite you protesting a little.

“Din, I — I don’t know what to say, Thank-You” You really don’t know how to process all of this. The gifts are incredibly personal. To normal people, they might be a bit confused and discouraged, but to you; it means everything. He knows that you take great pride in stuff like this, and he went out of his way to ensure that you had the best of the best, and he did all of this just in the hopes that you’d still be alive.

“You don’t have to thank me, just look after it all,” he nods. He turns around and hands you another pair of knives, these aren’t made of Beskar and are smaller, but they sit in the thigh and arm holster he’d given you earlier.

You couldn’t deny the confidence he’d just handed you. You felt like you could take on the galaxy and only come out with a scratch. It was a crazy and illogical thought but it was still there nonetheless. And with that he’s closed the Armoury and is off up into the cockpit, plotting the coordinates for the first quarry.

___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! RIght, so I know this is a HUGE chapter, near enough 14k+... just had a lot to fit in and didn't want to spread it across multiple chapters. 
> 
> This one is pretty dark and descriptive... if it's too much/okay then pls let me know by commenting! 
> 
> Best wishes xx


	6. Regret

The hot water of the fresher was probably one of the best feelings you’d ever felt. The streaks of water melting your anxiety away, washing your pores of any doubt and residual fury; swirling into the drain and freeing your mind of their heavy burden. You felt lighter now. The soap Mando had given you soothed your joints, the homely pine smell comforting you. He’d made sure to give you some clean clothes before you showered, he wanted to make sure you felt as comfortable as possible. You placed the clothes on your bed in your cabin. He explained that one of the pucks that Karga had given him was on a peaceful planet, suggesting that you could all spend some time there to relax a little. You were a bit shocked that he wanted to return to work so quickly, but the reality of life probably meant that he didn’t have a choice. The fact it was a quiet planet though was soothing, no more drama for a while. You needed a break from it all. Your peaceful revery was interrupted by the heat of your core, now slowly simmering. The shadow of his hand still pressed against your back, the warmth and desperation of his lips pressed to yours as he made his intentions towards you very clear in the hull of his ship. You closed your eyes, envisioning that moment in the darkness, that sweet moment where time slowed and your only focus was him. His heavy heat pressed against your hip, slowly rocking in time with his touch, with your touch, your breathing.

_______

A couple days had passed and you found yourself falling into the same mental conversation, now only a few hours away from your destination. You had decided to take a shower to try and pass the time. Turning the water as hot as you could manage, you stood, stewing. This was your release for you. Sure, the ship was big and you had your own cubby, but Mando’s presence was simply overpowering and you never felt like you had privacy; like he was somehow watching you and judging everything you did, like he knew how affected your were by him. He’s found a way to wind you up. Two nights now you’ve found that you’ve had to give into your cravings to release the overbearing pressure of your core. You’d find that even just one thought sent you down a rabbit hole, one you couldn’t escape without touching yourself. The way he spoke, how he’d commanded you, _and how you’d just do it_. Normally you hate being told what to do, but weirdly you found yourself craving his dominance, his commands. You wanted him to take control of you.

There hadn’t been any conversation about what had happened back on Nevarro, and despite your prominent feelings towards the Mandalorian, you were glad that nothing had been said. You didn’t even know how to even approach the situation in your head let alone in person; the thought of it always sent you giddy at the thought of his angsty touch…you knew if he even brought it up you would not be able to function. So, you took yourself to the shower every time you felt overwhelmed by the manifested rolling camera-film of his body against yours blurring your mind, your consciousness. He was simply intoxicating. The shower was your private space - you knew he wouldn’t be watching or listening to you here, and so, in the shower, hands trailing, you could truly relax and find your release.

Afterwards, the water trialing over your hypersensitive skin, you level with yourself.There’s definitely no hiding it, there’s obviously something brewing, something that you can’t necessarily control. You’ve never felt this way before, and it scared you, this unnameable feeling.

He’d been avoiding you at times you thought, but others he would occasionally graze your hand with his when passing you something for the Child. Or when your were preparing meals, he’d slip behind you to grab something, his hand resting on your waist. Every moment you picked up on, his touch holding you, slowing time and making you reel at each moment. You just hope that the feelings weren’t one sided. He’d given signs, right? _That moment on Nevarro was real… right?_ He’s either been deliberately teasing you or he’s just completely and utterly oblivious… _or he regrets what happened._ You shut that thought away as soon as it rears its ugly head, you don’t want to go there…but as every day passes it makes its unwelcome presence more obvious.

You turn the shower off to stop your mind from wandering. This was dangerous.

You stepped out the shower, grabbing the towel he’d given you before. Tipping your head upside down, you shake it against your head, trying to briefly dry your hair before wrapping yourself in the towel. You looked around for your clothes. _Dammit_ , you’d left them in your cabin. Making sure the towel was secure you opened the fresher door, hair still dripping as you stepped into the hull. The lights had been dimmed, he must’ve put the Kid to sleep, trying to catch as many hours as he could before you stopped at the first Quarry.

Turning around to close the door, you jump.

He’s just standing there; no armour, just his helmet and underclothes. Slowly you turn your head to look at him, trying to play it off that he didn’t scare the living daylights out of you. You stare back at him, forming a smile almost in an automatic self defence. You hoped he couldn’t hear what you were doing in the shower… you were sure you’d kept quiet, taking special care not to make any noise. You’d even bitten your wrist to muffle any moans that may have slipped out.

He was casually leaning up against the ladder, one hand still holding on. It's like he was frozen in time, like you were looking in from another dimension. The moment was odd, the air thick. You weren’t trying to make it weird but somehow with every breath you took, your throat tightened, heart quickened and the space in the hull shifted. You decided to break the stifling silence.

“Din,” you say politely, still holding his glare.

Silence.

Okay this is a bit worrying now…”Hey, Di—,”

“Yeah, sorry, I ugh… I…” He drifts from his sentence, the hull instantly shifting back into the awkward silence of before.

“Do you need something?” You ask. Maybe he needed something from the fresher and you were in the way? His unease wasn’t something you’d really seen before. Something was bothering him. He’s never been strong with words but he always made sure that when he did speak he wouldn’t stutter or show any signs of heat. Trying not to assume the obvious you reasoned that he just needs to use the fresher and you’re being the awkward one, _Yes, he’s just being polite._ You shift out of the way, back turning to his as you walk towards your cabin.

“Stop,” His voice stern, low. It freezes you in your tracks. _Okay. “_ Come here, _”_ He didn’t have to tell you twice. Slowly you walked over towards him, eyes not leaving the floor. You’re now stood in front of him. The warmth of the night-lights in the ship blessed your shoulders in a golden glow, accentuating your features beautifully. The towel was tightly wrapped around your chest, held in place by the corner being tucked under your arm. However, your collarbone and neck were out in the open, poetically emphasised by your hair. You hadn’t completely dried your hair before leaving, so it didn’t take long for small droplets to drop to your skin; graciously falling, skating over your now prickled flesh; it was like the tension in the air had electrified you - all of your senses were on high alert but the only thing you could focus on was the rhythmic rise and fall of the Mandalorian's chest. It was trance-like. You daren’t look up, the stare would be too much. “Drop it,” _What?_

“Din, I don-” you chime sweetly, but you’re cut short.

“The towel, drop it,” Your breath hitched, your body tensed. _Is he really asking you to do this or are you in some weird dream_? His command sent an instant pulse to your sensitive core. Your skin was now a blushed red, you couldn’t even hide it anymore. Your feet were fidgeting, fingers pulling at the rough fabric that grazed your thighs. _Was this really happening?_ “Don’t make me ask again.”

And that was what did it for you. He really was on a mission. His cocky attitude emanated his influence on you. Even though he adorned a Beskar helm you could feel his eyes wander your body. You would do anything to see his face, be able to read what he was thinking, feeling. Your mind flicked back to Nevarro, his body pressed to yours, his hard arousal pressing into you. Your mind decided to torture you in this moment, conjuring explicit images of Din’s naked body. His hand stroking his thick length, moaning your name to his pleasure. Your face warmed to a hot blaze, mirroring the heat that had settled deep in your core. Only a few moments had passed and you were already ready for him, your body preparing for what you sought after most.

As you went to release the towel, a cry cuts through the tension like a knife.The Kid couldn’t have chosen a worse moment if he tried.

The agitated gruff was plain. He didn’t care if you knew his frustrations, the wall of secrecy he’d built was now kicked down and the Child’s cries had just stopped him from walking through. His fists clenched at his side, the sound of leather twisting pricked goosebumps along your skin and contrived a hitched breathe.

Keeping your head down, you mutter, “You should probably see if he’s ok…” The kid hadn’t completely drifted off, his cries were urgent. Maybe he just missed his Dad. Din doesn’t say anything, he just turns and walks back over to his cabin, the cries breaking through the metal door that separated it from the hull. His absence released you from his transfixion, finally allowing you to begin to absorb the last few moments. You needed to get away, you couldn’t breathe, the weight of what had happened was clamping down on your chest. You scrambled into your cabin, closing the door as quick as you could behind you. You leaned back against the door, the back of your head titling up towards the ceiling. _What… just… happened?_

The cries eventually die down and the ship is plunged back into silence. You’ve changed and now you are lying in bed, facing the wall.

“ _Drop it,”_ fogs your mind, blocking any other thoughts from touching the surface. His attitude over the last few days now made sense. The way he’d been avoiding you, not engaging in much conversation at all now made sense; he was waiting for a moment like that to make his move, to finally catch you alone, vulnerable.

At least now you know your feelings aren’t one sided.

____

The ship lands gracefully into an open pit of forestry. Walking out once he’d lowered the ramp you could tell you were in some sort of natural clearing. The front of the ship was facing towards an open field of thick, green grass. Surrounding the ship like a cauldron were tall, dense trees and moss. You guessed you’d landed just on the edge of a forest. It was cosy, quiet. It felt like you were the first to lay your eyes upon it and the natural beauty of it all was soothing to the soul.

Din had said that there was a bounty near here but and odds of them being a difficult one were low, they were just a bail jumper. He went on to explain that often when they’re on planets like this they were an easy pickup - they would very rarely fight back. This calmed you a little, knowing that you wouldn’t have to deal with an unnecessary level of violence, and that the both of you would come away unscathed. You were tired of fighting for the time being.

___

You knew you’d be leaving soon so you decided now would be a good time to suit up.

You’d just finished putting on your thigh holster as Din walked into the hull. You turned your head to smile at him, greeting him silently. Turning back to the weapons locker, you went to grab the arms holster.

“What are you doing?” He asks, striding over to you. Before yo can react he’s grabbing the arm holster from you and pressing it back into the locker, closing the locker doors by fiddling with his vembrace. This confuses you so you let your frustrations known.

“Im getting ready — what do you think you’re doing?” You curt back, he’s being quite rude, you’re not going to let him trample all over you.

“You’re staying here,” he replies, bending slightly, gesturing for you to take off the thigh holster. Why are you staying here? You’re completely qualified for this, he even said so himself back when you first met! He’d be damned if you’re just going to sit on this ship, locked away in exile because he’s in an angsty strop.

“No, I’m not, I’m coming with you,” you command. You’re not a pushover. He can use his domineering charm all he likes, you’re going with him. Maintaining your eye contact with him, you press the button that opens the weapons locker. You’re seething now. You reach in to grab the two knives he gifted you, your knives.

“Don’t test me,” he hisses. His hand shot out, encasing your whole wrist with his vice grip. It hurt, this is a contact he’s not used on you before. He’s been forceful, yes, but never maliciously, just in a way to express his concern or even in a playful manner. This however was new, frightening. He was scaring you. You didn’t realise you’d frozen until the slam of the locker doors shut and he’d turned to walk away. You were shaking now, but not like you would if you were cold, no, you were shaking with agitation, anger, hurt. You wanted to reply, to argue with him, but he’d truly rocked you. And in that moment you questioned yourself. You thought you knew this man, you thought you could trust him and that he would only ever protect you and have your interests at heart. He’d bent over backwards to rescue you, to look after you. But what he’d just done exposed a whole different side to him, your trust in him shattered. You’d felt comfortable that this man would never lay a hand on you, but now you’re not so sure.

___

He made sure to grab some firewood and set up a small camp just in-front of the ship. You knew he’d be gone for a bit as he’d made sure you both had dinner and breakfast sorted. Grabbing a couple empty crates from the hull you set them down near the fire. The kid’s cot was next to you as you warmed up his soup in the cooking pot.

Mando was inside the ship gathering whatever supplies he needed for the job. He’d grabbed a couple protein bars, a metal bottle full of water and then obviously his weapons. He didn’t bother with the long rifle this time, only sporting his blasters and a combat knife. He was confident this would go just as planned.

He hadn’t spoken to you since the shower incident, and you were kinda glad he hadn't. It was awkward. Once the shock of it all had worn away the situation dawned on you. How were you going to broach a conversation now? On Nevarro it was sweet. He was jokey and loose, but for some reason he’s now tense and closed off from you. You strip your mind in search of anything that you could’ve done to antagonise him, but there was nothing. His behaviour was completely out of the blue. And now, with his feelings splayed across the table, it was your turn to make the move. _Maybe its best if I just act like it didn’t happen…he probably regrets it and wishes it never happened…_ You conclude your thoughts and decide to just keep hush. He doesn’t want to talk about it, so you won’t. Simple.

It was starting to get dark now, the fire pit illuminating the camp in a soft yellow glow as purples and blues faded into the dark of night. Mando had finished polishing his armour and went back into the ship to make sure he had everything he needed. Once back out he handed you a comlink. You look up at him.

“In case there’s any trouble” he says blankly. He didn’t sound worried, and you guessed it was because he knew that if anyone did try anything they’d be dead before the realised their mistake. You didn’t wear the belt he’d given you but the thigh holster remained with one of the combat knives he’d originally given you. You took it as a silent gift, it was sweet.

“I think we'll be just fine, won’t we” you both look down at the Kid, whose practically face first in his bowl of soup. He must’ve been hungry and the fresh warmth of the soup was a new favourite of his. Sensing your look, he turns his head up to the both of you.

“Eh” He agrees before swiftly returning to his supper. You place the com link in your back pocket, hoping that you won’t actually have to use it.

“I won’t be long, close the hatch before you go to bed.” And with that he’s striding off into the forest, not looking back.

_______

A few hours had passed and now you were sunk into complete darkness, the dying embers of the fire barely lighting the camp. The kids head had dipped a couple times as he dozed, and realising he was knackered you tucked him into his cot. Kicking out the embers you walked back into the ship, closing the ramp behind you. You’d brought the kid into your cabin this time. It just made more sense to have him with you instead of on the other side of the ship, it meant that if there were any problems you could deal with them straight away. You also just want the company as you lie in bed, listening to the wind roll of the chassis of the Razor Crest. The sound of the Kid sleeping was therapeutic, and before spud realised you’d drifted into a deep sleep.

_______

_You heard a hiss, the intake of air dampened by the vocoder of his helmet. The hull was dark but the lights were bright enough to accentuate your features, the soft yellowy-red draping a sultry curtain over your features. Your nipples perked at the cold, the skin around them prickling into goosebumps. The lines of your stomach were long but defined. The years of training had built a strong frame, but the feminine features still remained. The sleek lines leading from your upper chest right down to your lower abdomen, cinching at your waist. Scars rippled your skin, some hidden by the light. Others, more pertinent injuries sitting like shards of glass, reflecting off your now tender body. At least the lights were helping to hide the hot flush of anxiety that had swept you, little twitches of anticipation making random muscles jump._

You jump awake, wet from sweat. You open your eyes only to be met with blinding darkness. You couldn’t see in front of you even if you tried. You could still hear the kid fast asleep, so you relaxed, lying back down onto your bed, now trying to control your breathing. The dream felt real, like you were actually there. You didn’t want to leave it, the feeling was electrifying. Time had slowed and you were stuck in that moment. You didn’t mind though, being stuck in a moment with the Mandalorian wasn’t too bad. At least your body thought so, now that it had made it’s arousal very, _very clear._

Your legs were damp but with a different feeling. You felt flirty, like you’d just been caught doing something forbidden, but deep down you didn’t mind, in fact, you were incredibly turned on right now. You glanced over at the Kid, your vision now adjusted to the darkness. You get up andlightly push his cot away until he’s near the corner, now facing away from you. _This was wrong_. But you couldn’t help it, the pent up arousal you were drenched in was suffocating. Sliding back into bed you let your hand drift, and your mind experiment.

Your right hand slowly slid down your midline, you were trying to picture them as his; heavier, rougher. Your other hand moved to grab your left breast, lightly massaging it and then playfully pinching your nipple. You shuddered and let out a small moan. Mando wasn’t here, and the kid was knocked out… you could have a little fun.

You were surprised at how wet you were, the dream had obviously been playing with your body for some time, because as you lightly pressed against your clit the sensation made your hips buck. _okay, you were really, really turned on_. You liked Mando, but your body now confirms just how much you like him, and you can’t even deny it. You give into your temptations and slowly begin circling your fingers over your core. Small moans escaped your lips as you imagines your hands were his, that his body was looming over yours, whispering in your ear. _“You’re fucking soaking. Is this how wet you get when your moan my name at night? Hmm?”_ Another moan leaves your throat, this one strained now as your edging closer to your release.

“Having fun?” A digital voice booms from your back pocket.

_You can’t believe it, you really. Cannot. Believe it_.

“Ugh… hi, Mando… I’m sorry… It’s not what you think it is” You blurt out into the com link you’d grabbed from your pocket. You’re cursing yourself inside. How can you be so stupid! And your reply, it wasn’t even believable. _So so stupid_.

“Is it not…? _Shame_ ” the cockiness roasted your skin. _He knew. Shit._ How were you going to drag yourself out of this. He’s teasing you now. How can he still wind you up when he’s literally tens of kilometres away?! “Don’t stop. I was enjoying listening to you” he cuts again. _He wants me to carry on? Am I still dreaming?_

“I ugh… _you what?_ ” You stutter, trying to make sure you heard him correctly.

“You heard me, **_don’t stop._** ” He’s dead serious. And just like that his voice has grabbed you by the throat and is forcing you to do as he commands. You lie back, trying to calm your breathing as you set the com link next to your head, leaving your hands free. You close your eyes again, letting your hands drift back to where they were before. Instantly you let out a moan at the pressure against your clit. The bundle of nerves was now throbbing, his words were practically nudging them for you. A tight breathe leaves the com link, and the faint sounds of a zipper slip through.

“Are you-” you go to ask but you’re cut off.

“You’re lucky I’m not there right now because I’d… I’d be making sure you knew how disappointed I am in you. You waited for me to… _fuck…_ you waited for me to leave before you made yourself cum.” That hit something deep within your core and only made the pressure at your core twist tighter. He was definitely getting off to this as well. The thought of it sent you mad, you’re now reaching for the tipping point of your release, your fingers pressing harder now.

“I had a dream…” you can’t hold back the strained moan “ A dream that you’d _undressed_ me, that you were going to-” you can’t even finish the sentence, you’re so incredibly wound and tense all rationality had left you.

“ _fuck, you… I…”_ he’s just as wound up as you _. Are you making this fierce Mandalorian choke?_ The power that fills your veins makes you grin from ear to ear. Knowing you have this effect on him floods your inner thighs. “You’re gonna cum for me when I—when I tell you too, okay?” You can hear his quickened breath, he was close too. The dominance he was displaying even from miles away had you reeling, and you were a little impatient, wanting him to give you your release.

“Yes… please, _please_ ” you say through ushered moans, you weren’t sure how much longer you could take this.

“ _Yes what?”_ He growls and it send every one of your hairs on end.

“Yes, **Sir** … _please_ ” You’re practically begging him now, you want to cum so bad. The arousal has made every single muscle tense, you’re wound like a dam waiting to burst.

“ ** _Good girl_** …” He pauses. You’re now pretty much mentally crying. Oh you need this release and you need it now. His teasing is going to send you awol.

“ **Cum** ” The words couldn’t be sweeter and you press down in just the right spot. Your body reels and your mind spirals, the shattering gasps and moans are now lining the air with filth. That felt good, oh so good. You can hear the distance slur of swearing and heavy grunts from the vocoder, blurred between the dark of the cabin and the thick of your lust. After what seemed like a lifetime your senses returned to normal and you could breath comfortably now. Your body slack, pulsing still as the pleasure courses your veins. _If he can make you feel this good without even being here, how would it feel when he's with you..?_

_“_ How are you feeling?” Whispering into the com-link, your eyes still closed.

“Amazing, Meshl’a” He sighs through the com-link, his satisfaction like music to your ears. “I don’t need to ask you how you’re feeling” This time you can hear a chuckle, and it makes you giggle too. “Get some sleep, I’ll be back before you wake up” He says, and then the red light on the com link dims, and you drop back into a deep sleep. 

_____

The sound of physical struggle wake you from your sleep and you instantly jump into action. Grabbing your discarded clothes, you practically fall around your room in an effort to get yourself dressed so you can sort out whatever is going on in the hull of this ship.

“I thought Mandalorian’s were meant to be tough! What the fuck do you call thi—,” the voice cuts off when you exit your room in only your combat trousers and a loose tunic, “well, Mando, I didn’t know you were such a collector of fine art,” the bounty grits. It was a Twi’lek, similar to that of the one from the prison freighter, except this guy was green, and certainly a lot bigger. His face twisted into a sadistic grin as he turned to face you, clearly eyeing you up as if you were his.

“Don’t even try it,” Mando warns, stepping aggressively towards the bounty. But before he has time to cuff him, you’re doing his job for him. You run at him, jumping and grabbing him at the top of his shoulders, using the momentum to carry and pivot you as you wrap the inside of your thighs around his neck. You squeeze hard, but follow through on the rotation, completing a complete 360 swivel around his neck before twisting forward, clamping his neck especially hard with your thighs as you bring him down. Before he falls, you release your thighs from his neck and wrap his neck in the crook of your right arm, using your bodyweight and the velocity of his fall to bring him tumbling, quite ungraciously onto the hard durasteel of the hull. He lets out a pained gasp as the air leaves his lungs, and you quickly take advantage of his struggle by grabbing the cuffs from Din’s hands and securing them over the bounty’s.

You take a second to breathe before patting the bounty on the shoulder, “I could’ve snapped your neck if I wanted to, but I have a feeling you’d be worth less dead,” you say, before standing up and leaving the rest up to Din. The Mandalorian just stares at you as you walk to the fresher, closing the door behind you to start your morning routine.

“You gonna let her stand you up like tha—,” the bounty wheezes, but Din cuts his sentence short.

“Shut it, or I might finish what she started, Get up.” And with that Din grabs the Bounty by the shoulder and hauls him into the carbonite freezer.

_____

Nothing is said between the two of you until the early afternoon. The events from last night hung heavy in the air, and neither of you were brave enough to bring it up. You’d found it quite frustrating that he’d not mentioned anything, considering he was so _eager_ to make you…well… but then again you were also quite thankful for the silence because if he started a conversation, you weren’t quite sure what you’d say, what you should say. It was incredible, yes… the way he had complete and utter control over your body even though he was 10’s of miles away made it all that more exhilarating, but this mornings encounter only solidified your worst fears. You were both dangerous people to be around — Din was a Bounty hunter, a fucking Mandalorian, one of the most feared and ruthless in the Galaxy. His job was nothing but violence and aggression. What made you think he had time for someone like you? You’d been through hell together, that’s for sure…but that doesn’t mean you owe each other anything.

You wanted to stay with him, to work with him and be his partner, but something about the way he’s acted just makes you second guess whether he feels the same way. If he’s expecting you to just sit tight and be bed bound to the Razor Crest, he’s got another thing coming. This morning certainly proved you can handle yourself, so why is he hesitating now? Maybe if you could work on a bounty together, you could prove you’d work best as a team, and he’d let you stay around and actually make use of your skills — after all you’re pretty sure you could beat him in one on one combat if you really tried. So, you decided to break the ice and broach the subject.

“Where’s the next bounty?” You ask, swirling your cup of caf and staring into the little whirlpool forming. Din pauses, gripping the polishing cloth he was using on his Amban rifle. You hear the telltale sign of frustration as he lets out a sigh.

“Why do you want to know?” He counters, resuming the polishing after he’s finished talking.

“Just curious…” you mutter, taking a quick sip of your drink in an effort to look casual.

“Curious… _yeah_ ,” He mumbles, rubbing a little harder on a particularly scratched spot on the barrel of the blaster, “You’re not coming with me,” he finishes.

“Why not?” You’re not dancing around the bush now, you just want him to cut the crap and be honest with you.

“Its dangerous. You’ll get hurt,” he says, not bothering to look up and face you. This man really did know how to wind you up sometimes.

“Yeah… cause by the looks of things you definitely _weren’t_ in danger this morning,” you rasp, taking another swig from your caf in order to quell your frustration.

“You didn’t give me the chance to cuff him,” he snarls, pausing once again from polishing to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down.

“He was going to lunge at me, and anyway, you were taking too long, it was pissing me off,” you chuckled back, even though you weren’t finding it funny at all — you knew this was winding him up and the fact that he just couldn’t bring himself to accept you helped was rubbing you up the wrong way. You were a trained assassin for fucks sake, _why isn’t he using your expertise, your experience to his advantage?_ But, like always, Din remains quite, hiding behind the security of his helmet. Of course he’d just shut you out — that’s what he did to anyone, why would he do anything else with you? “ **Pathetic,** ” you mutter, and before he can even think of a reply you’ve put your empty caf cup on the floor and you’re striding your way back into your room, locking the door as soon as you’re inside.

You instantly strip yourself of your clothes and slide on the stupidly large tunic Din had given you and you practically throw yourself into bed, rolling over to face the wall. You clutched the comforter tightly to your body as you buried your head into the pillow, willing yourself just to fall asleep and forget everything that had happened in the last 24hours.

Tomorrow would be a better day. Tomorrow you could just forget everything that’s happened. Tomorrow, you would find a way off of this ship. If Din didn’t want you, then you wouldn’t stay. It was decided.


	7. Blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You thought you wanted to escape.
> 
> You thought you wanted to be free. 
> 
> You thought you wanted to be alone. 
> 
> Tradegy only strikes when the mind and soul are in disilusionment; when the body is so preoccupied chasing its lust that it refuses to listen to its reason.
> 
> Blind. 

You didn't bother sleeping that night, your mind was too busy thinking of ways to escape the Mandalorian. 

You were nothing but cheated, it felt like. And upon further contemplation, you'd practically convinced yourself that you didn't mean anything to him and that he'd just played you as everyone else had. There were no feelings, no personal sentiments, no attachment between him and you; and it hurt. He'd gotten what he wanted, and would continue to control and manipulate you behind your back, clutching your sense of freedom and chaining you to the cold confines of the Razor Crest. 

You didn't want to believe this, though. You wanted more than anything for your mind to be playing tricks on you, and for your feelings, your true hidden feelings to be true. You wanted him to want you, to trust you. you wanted to work as a team, a power-couple you could say. But the fact of the matter at hand is that Mando had no interest in you helping him, working or even having any sort of independence at all. 

You felt so confused. 

On one hand, you wanted to stay, to give in and just be the stay at home babysitter Mando wanted you to be. But on the other hand, you wanted to finally be free, to do what you want and just go wild. Gideon had awoken something deep, something dark within you and you knew it'd only be a matter of time before you couldn't contain it anymore. You had to get out and release some energy - you wanted to on Nevarro but Din had stopped you, and you wanted to the other day when he left for his bounty, but yet again Mando demanded you stay on the ship. 

It was suffocating. 

Your choice was clear. You only really had one option, run. Run as far and as fast as you can. he was one of the best trackers in the galaxy, but you were a vicious machine bred and trained, ruthless and aggressive. You would do anything to taste the sweet buzz of adrenaline again, to feel truly alive once more. You were addicted to it, the smell of violence tugged at your heart, and the sadistic bite of pain made your insides twist and turn in with-drawl. You really couldn't control it any longer. The sweet temptations of the galaxy before you we're all-encompassing. 

Back to the plan. It was night, the ship was sunken into the blanket of night. You checked the wall clock, 02:19AM. Perfect; Din would be asleep around now and locked away in his cabin with the Kid - that meant no distractions. You quietly slid out of the bed, silently slipping on your trousers, tunic and everything else you'd need - both your thigh knife holsters and the chest cueress. you slid on the poncho Mando had let you borrow to keep warm and slowly left the cabin. 

  
And you were practically on autopilot. You made no sound as you edged around the hull - ensuring you missed furniture and loose bits of metal as you had memorised the ship in the little time you'd spent on it. You found yourself stood just outside of Din's cabin, right next to the weapons cabinet. You had one shot at this, and you prayed to the maker above that he was in a deep enough sleep to not wake up to the sound of you ransacking his weapons stash. As quietly as you could, you tapped the code into the keypad to the right and the doors swung open, you caught them before they made the classic tap against the wall of the ship. 

You didn't have much time, hurry. 

You eyed the contents and quickly grabbed the two Karambit knives Mando had gifted you, along with the bag and belt of throwing knives, and two combat Beskar knives too. You *borrowed* a couple of charges as well as a blaster, which you hastily tucked into the back of your pants. You eyed the cupboard for something to holster it in, and you found yourself lucky as you grabbed a secondary thigh holster. You're pretty sure it was one of Mando's shin holsters he used for the Vibro-blade that sat tucked in his boot, but it'd hold the blaster for now and it was small enough to wrap the upper part of your thigh. Perfect. You needed credits too - you hated having to steal from Din, but if you had any chance of getting off if this rock without him, you had to do what was necessary; so you took the bag of credits sat comfy in the corner of the cupboard and emptied a few into your hands. You took what you needed and placed the credits into the pouch with the throwing knives. 

With as much caution as before, you closed the doors to the cupboard, to then hastily make your way to the kitchen. You grabbed what you could that was at hand, a few protein bars, an empty flask and a dried packet of fruit. You didn't fill up the flask as you knew the sound of running water would wake Din up - you could find somewhere on the way. He'd left a shoulder satchel in the corner of the room and you swung it over your shoulder, placing more food and other bits into it as stealthily as you could. 

You'd got everything you needed, now came the hard part. You crept out of the kitchen and into the main hull, quietly stepping until you were face to face with the ramp. You knew this would wake him up, but you were betting on the fact that he was either in really, really deep sleep or he would be too slow getting up and out to catch the direction you'd be leaving. That was another thing. 

Where would you go?

You thought back to your survival training and countless hours spent tracking, stalking targets. You could do this, you were more than qualified. trust in yourself. 

You took a deep breath before punching the code into the keypad for the ramp. the loud whir of electric motors grinding into life reverberated through the hull, and you didn't miss the distinctive clash and thud of Din falling out of his bed and trying his best to put his armour on. 

But he was too slow. 

By the time he'd gotten into the cockpit and aimed his blaster, you were gone.

\---

You ran like your life depended on it - well, it pretty much did because you knew if Din caught up to you you were practically dead anyway. The man had pretty good taps on his temper but you were sure that he would just about lose his shit if he got hold of you. And that adrenaline, that fantastic sick rush is what fuelled you to run, and run, and run. 

Luckily you had been quick enough to leave the ship, and Din didn't manage to get a grip on which direction you'd left - but you knew he had some sort of tracking gadget in that metal lid of his so you would have to be smart. Find somewhere busy and mix up the tracks, maybe even switch out your footwear or - wait, you could carve a new tread into the soles of your boots; perfect. But not now, because if he was tracking you he'd instantly notice the change - you needed commotion to confuse and render his tracking software useless.

You'd been running for around an hour now - more than your body would normally be able to cope with at this tempo, but you couldn't rest, you had to find a way off of this planet. You took a second to take in your surroundings. The heavy bushland had initially thickened into a desolate forest, but after some time you found the tree density to be thinning out, and after another half hour of running you found yourself at the back entrance to some sort of settlement or town. 

You took a second to compose yourself, it was still incredibly early in the morning, but you didn't have time to wait.

You strode into the town, and it became apparent quite quickly that luck was on your side. As you peered around the corner the lights of a shipyard lit up in the far distance of the settlement. It wasn't anything big, but it was enough - a couple of ships lay dormant in the 5 or 6 bays at the far end of town. 

You'd never stolen a ship before.

Trying not to act suspicious in case anyone was watching, you walked down through the main street of the town. The grass and moss had all but withered away into a solid dirt track, and the huts made of wood from the forest trees littered the surrounding landscape. It was quiet but serene, and you definitely felt a pang of guilt knowing that you were not the type of person that would be welcome here, you'd only cause trouble; and by the looks of things, they didn't get much trouble around here. Eventually, you found yourself at the entry of the shipyard and you let your eyes roll over the selection of docked ships. Instantly you knew two of the prospective six were off-limits as their owners sat outside, slumped over in their chairs next to each other - and by the looks of the empty bottles of alcohol, they were out for good. This was ideal, things couldn't be better. As you scanned the area, you noticed the ship you'd be taking. 

It was an odd shape, but for some reason or another, you couldn't help but feel like you'd seen it before. It was definitely familiar, but from where you wouldn't know. It had a long snout of sorts and was sharp and precise in its craftsmanship. On either side, long triangles perched high, like ears. It was definitely unique, but it was in tidy condition and would do for what you needed. 

Taking another look around, you quietly made your way over. To your astonishment, the ship was left unlocked. Surely a ship of this condition wouldn't be left in such a state of complete in-security? Either way, finders keepers. 

You pressed the button to open the ramp and quickly made your way inside as it closed behind you. You hurried into the cockpit, instantly recognising the universal controls and powering the ship on. You clicked the holo-map and found the quickest path out of the atmosphere into space, you could worry about where to go later, you just needed to get off the ground. Flipping the switch for the thrusters, you felt the blazing roar of engines vibrate the cockpit and before you could think twice about what you were doing, you'd pulled the control arm back and were lifting into the sky. Turning the ship in a 180 away from the direction of the Razor Crest, you edged your way out from the dock and into the pre-planned flight path you'd programmed just moments before. 

And just like that, you were gone.   
\---

Din awoke to the sound of the Razor Crest ramp opening, and before he could even register what he was doing, he was clumsily stumbling out of his bed and onto the hard dura-steel floor. The Kid awoke with a startled cry, and the bashing and clanking of Beskar being hurriedly worn didn't help matters - he could sense something was wrong. But Din wasn't fast enough, as when the door to his cabin opening and he strode out, blaster pointed and finger itching on the trigger, the hull was empty. 

Odd, there's no one here, why - wait. 

Din ran over to your cabin but knew better than to barge in. Instead, he hastily rapped his knuckles against the door. 

"Hey! Wake up, did you open the ramp, are you ok?" Nothing. Dead silence. He tried again, this time knocking harder and with a bit more haste. "HEY! GET UP," and again, there was no response. Something wasn't right. He knew that breaking into your room was a complete breach of your privacy, but he'd rather deal with the consequences of your wrath than find you hurt, or worse. He shot the blaster into the keypad of the door and it flew open, but what he found was not what he expected. He expected you to either be asleep or to even be mid-fight with an intruder. Not for you to not be there. 

This was worse, so much worse. 

He turned and punched the side of the wall, groaning out in both parts pain from the impact of his knuckles against the dura-steel, and part from the rage and frustration at the realisation that this was his fault. 

You'd left him. 

The only person he could ever confide in, to let his guard down and allow himself to have some sort of pleasure in life; the only person he trusted, and you were gone. He didn't have time for this though, he had to find you, apologise, just do something. He couldn't let you just walk away from this, you'd been through too much together, and if you weren't there with him, he couldn't protect you. He'd nearly lost you once, he couldn't do it again. 

He all but ran to the weapons locker, grabbing his pulse rifle and a few charges, the usual load-out he would take when tracking a bounty - and that's what he supposed this was, it was his job to track people, its all he'd ever done. Yet he still felt as nervous as his first time - what if he didn't find you?

And then the question of *why* burned its way to the front of his mind. What had he done to push you away like this? Yes, you'd shared a few intimate moments, but he was under the impression that, well, you enjoyed it just as much as he did... what had he done so wrong to make you want to leave, without even saying goodbye? He understood you were frustrated with him for stopping you from coming with him, but he only wanted what was best for both you and the Kid - taking you both with him was just not on the cards, even on a safe planet like this. You were more than capable of holding your own, that was made evident by the way you handled the Bounty that he'd brought back not a few hours ago. It was incredible, the way you moved so effortlessly but with clear, unhinged violence; it was beautiful, *you* were beautiful - yet he hated the ironic bond you shared with aggression and beauty - it was like you couldn't have one without the other, that your DNA was composed of the complicated connection both traits possessed and any attempt to strip or mutate your makeup would ruin you. Deep down he wished you weren't as skilled as you were because then he would have a reason other than his own selfishness to tell you to stay behind. But, he didn't... you were made to fight like he was, and he was being the biggest damn hypocrite by denying your basic rights to freedom. 

He had to put these feelings aside. Focus on the task at hand - finding you and making sure you were safe. He would turn this galaxy upside down, wreak undying havoc among those that stopped him from getting to you. 

He had to hunt like his life depended on it. 

\---

You had safely made it out of the upper atmosphere and were now sat comfortably in the vacuum of space. Your fingers trailed the star map in front of you - desperate to find somewhere to bunker low, maybe even take on some underground work and earn a few extra credits, just enough to tide you over so you can resupply and form a contingency plan. 

Yavin...nope, Hoth...nope, Mustafar, definitely not...Tatooine...

Tatooine. 

Perfect. 

You'd heard of the secluded little dust planet on the outer rim, and it was notorious for its harbouring of the Hutts and criminals alike. That's exactly what you were looking for, you'd fit right in; plus you knew it'd be easy to get work, maybe even an underground bounty or two? 

You punched in the flight plan and took a swig of water from the flask you'd just recently filled up. you had struck gold with this ship - it was full of food and medical supplies, and even had an impressive cabinet of weapons too. it was exactly what you needed. So, without hesitation, you were off. 

_____

You honestly thought he'd have found you by now, but you mused the growing fear that maybe you were right. 

He didn't care about you. 

It had been eight months now and Din still hadn't shown his face. 

Your time on Tatooine had been one you hadn't expected. You initially fled to the sandbox to get away from Din and abuse the freedom you thought you had earned, but the gimmick soon wore thin and now you were living like a hermit in the middle of the desert. You'd tried to save face after a particularly violent cantina shootout which was incidentally but unsurprisingly your fault, and so you fled the small town of Mos Espa. You trawled the desert for a few days until you came across a nice little secluded cave. Upon further inspection it seemed to be abandoned, the telltale traces of a previous life from long ago littered the inside. Dusty blankets and old kitchenware were tidily packed away as if the previous owner knew they wouldn't return, but they left things in such an order in which anyone would still be welcome in their domain. And so you took solitude in this little hiding spot of yours, bringing the ship back for safekeeping by parking it just next to the entrance of the cave. 

The supplies on the ship had lasted you a while, three weeks if you rationed sensibly - but you knew you couldn't keep it up for long so get yourself busy with renovating the place. You came across the skeletal remnants of a water catcher and after a couple of days of tinkering, you got the old bit of kit running. That was your water sorted, now just food. 

Whilst you had enough credits to last you a while, you reasoned on finding a somewhat stable source of income that would allow you to buy essentials, bits and pieces and any materials you may need to keep the water catcher running. So, at the start of your second week in your new humble abode, you set out for Mos Espa, and after a few drop-ins and questionable interview tactics, you'd managed to grab yourself a job as a barmaid. 

It didn't pay particularly well, but it was just enough to get by and put food on the table. Life was simple.

Sweet.

Innocent. 

Something you never thought you would be entitled to, something you knew you didn't deserve the privilege of experiencing. You had done enough damage in your lifetime to warrant another full of debt - and yet you found yourself on your back, counting the stars in a constellation you hadn't seen before, the cold touch of night soothing the phantom pain of singularity - the regret of your choice to be alone. 

Because as much as you loved this new quiet life you had manufactured, it was nothing worth substance if you were not to share it with anyone. 

You craved the intimate connection forged between two souls - that of which you would read about in mythical books of old, or listen upon as wise words were spoken in hindsight around the dying light of a fire. The indescribable feeling of love, companionship, trust. 

It was something you had never felt in completion, and the slightest taste had you craving more to the point of insanity. 

You thought you wanted to escape. 

You thought you wanted to be free. 

You thought you wanted to be alone. 

Tragedy only strikes when the mind and soul are in disillusionment; when the body is so preoccupied chasing its lust that it refuses to listen to its reason.

Blind. 

But you supposed that it all made sense now. The false pretences you had stumbled across, this home you had forged out of desperation for freedom. 

Home isn't the place, the bricks or windows or doors. 

Home is where the heart is, and your heart resided in the lost arms of Beskar. 

_____

"Hey, Grogu?" Din asked from the pilot's seat. The little green gremlin's head shot up out of recognition, his toothy grin and litte 'eh?' spurring the hidden grin igniting on Din's face. 

"You think she's ok, out there?" He asked.

"Patoo?" Grogu grunted. 

Din chuckled, turning back to face the viewport before replying, "Y'know, wherever she is. Do you think she is doing alright?" He mused, head resting back against the seat. His search to find any Jedi willing to train Grogu had coming up short. Ahsoka had sent him to the seeing stone; she said Grogu would make his decision. His decision was to stay with the Mandalorian. Din was torn by this, he wanted Grogu to learn the way of his people, to become the incredible Jedi he knew he could be - whatever a Jedi truly was anyway; but he also needed Grogu more than many would realise. Din didn't let it on, but the day you left, he had never been the same. He had Grogu, yes, but that was different. 

Grogu gave him something to focus on, something to care and nurture, to keep him grounded whenever he found himself wanting to just fly away from the mess he called a life. 

But you gave him something to live for. He'd never mourned the loss of presence, of physical contact. He practically lived by a code that repressed said urges; a code that denied any humility. And yet for the last eight months, all he had done was grieve the loss of your lost promises, his own wishes for comfort. 

People deal with loss in different ways, but like you, Din found himself being irresponsible. Hed made stupid mistakes. Hed done things he would never be able to seek forgiveness from for simply speaking the words would surely cast him as nothing but wild. Hed committed sins he knew earned him a first-class seat to the fiery pits of beyond, but the pain of your absence was torturous enough as it was, and he'd rather pay his debt with interest than feel the consequences of your disappearance any longer than he needed to. So after the few wreckless weeks of pure unbridled rage, and after a stern intervention from Cara and Carga, he finally managed to see somewhat straight. 

He would find you, he had to. He would hunt you down like prey as his life depended on it. 

Because it did. 

He was truly alone. 

The silence had never been so loud. 

The nightmares had never been so violent. 

______

You'd never seen the place so busy. 

It was your lucky night it seemed, as you handed one of your friendly regulars their eighth drink. The cantina was flourishing, overflowing to the point where your boss Roscoe had to open up the back to allow for the partons to use the backyard as a makeshift drinks garden. It was the height of Tattoine summer and the suns were setting later and later into the night with each day that passed. It wasn't just the high suns and glorious weather that attracted your customers though, it was the now tactfully reduced amount of clothing you were wearing, 

See, it was tactical for two reasons. 

A - it was extremely hot and wearing any layers more than what was necessary was a form of self-punishment - so your ripped dregs for clothing would have to do.   
B - the fewer clothes you wore, the more tips you made. 

At first, it felt wrong to scala van your body in this way, but you really needed the credits if you were to have any chance of leaving this dustbowl. You were tired of waiting for someone who is not coming back. So, anywhere better than here would do. 

A loud whistle sounded from the other side of the bar. Rolling your eyes internally you reminded yourself that your shift ended in half an hour and you could be out of here and back in your bed within the hour. You turned, strolling over to the greasy bounty hunter who had called you over, your exposed hips swaying with more swagger than you actually possessed. 

"Yes Honey?" You said in the fake charm you wore in the bar. 

"Sweetheart, would you mind passing me a glass of your strongest?" The man winked as he spoke, the yellow and black spots of his lack of dental hygiene making you internally cringe. But you needed the credits and you didn't fancy another bar fight. 

"Sure Honey, one half of our strongest is coming right up," you mused, seductively winking as you reached up the bar and grabbed the watered-down bottle of Correllian whiskey. 

"Here'y'are Darlin, enjoy," winking as you walked away to serve the next customer. But you froze as you turned. 

A metallic shine flashed from the far corners of the cantina, hidden. 

Your head whipped around at the pace of stars but landed empty-handed. The stall was empty. You really had thought you'd gotten over the Mandalorian by now, and it had been a few weeks since you'd had any fleeting thoughts or wanton urges. But you could've sworn you saw the telltale reflection of Beskar under neon lights. You shook your head at the thought and proceeded with your next order. 

"Pretty thing you are aren't ya?" 

"Thanks, Daru, such a poet with your words," you giggled convincingly at the regular. Daru had always been kind but his intentions were always clear. He wanted your body. You'd entertained the thought of it as a means of therapy, but it was fleeting and you swore to yourself you wouldn't fall that low. Daru was a handsome man, yes - honey-rich blonde curls and hazy green eyes spoke something of a mystery, of excitement. But the thought of adventure didn't tickle you like it used to, instead it petrified you. That excitement was only fuelled by one, and that fuel was finite. 

"Just for tonight sweetheart, I'll make it worth your while," he murmurs, his lips sealed around the edge of the pint glass but his eyes fixed on yours. You lifted an eyebrow at him out of surprise. 

"I'm sure you would Daru, but I am tired and haven't eaten all day, I just want to go home." You admit, hoping that the honesty card would steer him clear of you. 

"I'll cook ya something if you like?" He offers. 

"Its ok Daru, thankyou," you smiled solemnly - he was in no state to cook let alone perform. 

"Why is it pretty women like you always turn down good guys like us, hmm?" He spits. You turn from where you'd been walking away, the previous softness you faked for him now shifting into a cold glare, but he continued despite your silent warning, "do ya just want arseholes who fuck you and leave you in the dirt, who hurt you and take what they want without askin'?" 

"Daru..." you warn, your hand slipping to hover over the karambit hidden under the ripped chiffon of your thigh. 

"What? Are you gonna beat me up, princess? What is a pretty little thing like you gonna do to a fuckup of a man like me? I've hurt people sweetheart." He hisses, standing aggressively and squaring his shoulders to you from across the bar. 

The cantina is silent, all eyes now trained on you. 

You tried so, so hard not to lose your shit. And you nearly held it together until Daru spoke one too many words. 

"You're just a pretty mouth and a fuckable cunt" 

Before he had time to react, you pulled him by the collar of his shirt, his face now only moments away from yours. 

"And I've killed people, Daru, I've killed people for a lot less," you whisper to just him. His eyes widen, his realisation that the glint in your eye wasn't that of fear, but of restraint. Daru shifted and pulled but it was no use. You grabbed his empty glass from the side of the bar table and smashed it across his temple, the glass shattering and cutting both his head and your palm. But this didn't phase you as you moved your hand to the back of his head and pushed his temple into the glassy shards littering the table. He screamed as the sandy shards embedded into his flesh, but his plight was short-lived as you plunged the sharpened Beskar which hid on your hip into the nape of his neck, pinning his now lifeless body to the table. 

The blood poured like a fine rum. 

"Out." You mutter, but it was loud enough for those inside to hear and within a few seconds the room was empty. 

"He had it coming." Comes a familiar metallic voice. 

"Excuse me?" You chide as you look up, but stalling in your tracks. 

There he stood. 

The plight of your nightmares for the last year. 

Confident and swave. 

Regrettably so. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi y'all so I'm sorry about the incredible big sad in this but it will pick up as things go - I'm feeling pretty down atm and I think it reflected in this fic lol. 
> 
> anyways, stay safe,  
> dindooku xo

**Author's Note:**

> pls lemme know if yall enjoyed this! its my first ever fic. Its a slow burn for now but trust me, it will get spicy soon;) we gotta build that trust yaknow? 
> 
> anyways, my tumblr is: dindooku - feel free to msg me or leave any feedback 
> 
> best wishes x


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